Sunday, November 2, 2008
I was looking over my photos on my laptop to get some inspiration for writing today & came across these three pics taken last April. I really like them a lot. The greens are amazing & the memories are happy ones. I was in the Philippines on a mission trip with our students. The people were so open, kind & welcoming. The weather was awful; constantly hot, humid & sticky. I remember that it rained that day as we rode back to our abode in that crazy green bus full of twenty-somethings & lots of noise & laughter.
But I think that what I like best about these pics is that it really looks like I am the woman that I WANT to be. I am joyfully drinking a brand new, unknown thing. Green coconut apparently has the sweet white milk inside, if you wait till the coconut fully ripens then the milk is not so good. And this was good, but that is still not my point here. This was a wonderful moment because I put aside my cautious, reserved, fearful persona & just did it! The laughter is more about that than what I was drinking.
Most photos of me are evidence that I am the quiet one who is on the side observing things & I am really sick of that role. I believe that we are all born with an inner freedom & joy that allows our childhoods to be pretty fun even in bad circumstances. But life takes it's toll on us & we often grow into less than we were meant to be. Less free, confident & bold. I am learning to unlearn a lot of that old garbage that made me protect myself & thereby prevent me from having more fun as an adult.
Those shots of me in the Philippines are full of fun. Even though moments after this was taken I had to step into a heated argument & misunderstanding between a few people in my charge. Life is full of both drama & fun & I am detirmined to get it all!