Family

Writer Son and Sassy Bride were here last night. I think they surprised me with a visit because they knew that Hubs was working until midnight and I just might have sounded a bit lonely when I called them earlier in the day.

I had an interesting little "aha!" moment while they were here. I have plans for this Friday night, but when they mentioned they may come over on Friday to do their laundry I nodded happily and said it would be fine.

I suddenly understood my own mother's ease at putting aside her plans if the "kids" were coming over.

There is just something lovely about being around my sons and their ladies. There is nothing I would rather do and I know that Hubs feels the same way. For his birthday coming up, he just wants them all over here for a fun meal.

Years ago I would have chosen my work or my work friends over them. I would. But this year I have learned a great deal about the value of family. Family is there with you through the garbage and tough times.

My family knows me. They know that silly stuff and the painful stuff and they love me still. They ask the right questions. They see beyond the "I'm fine." answer.

Cherish your family members while you have them my friends.

Rich Text & Touch Tone

It seems to be getting tougher and tougher to KEEP UP with technology and social networking etc.. Is this true for you also? I am in my mid fifties and simply not ready to curl up in a rocker and learn to knit (not that there 's anything wrong with knitting or rocking!). 

But wow, I don't know if I can keep up with all the new-fangled (oops, there's another OLD word!) tech things that seem to change and UPGRADE faster than I can figure them out! 

My problems with my job proposal email that I told you about yesterday have been solved, thanx to my DIL. She patiently went with me to the email to see what went wrong and was truly aghast that I could function with a very old JUNO email account. She had never even heard of it! The big roadblock was that my juno account does not have "Rich Text". There is no bar at the top of my message box that allows me to underline, bold, italicize, etc. So when I used those things on my Word Doc and pasted them over, it went coo-coo because the old site could not use those fun and essential things.

So we are sitting side-by-side on the couch, and she shows me another way to get around my problem that involved writing my letter in TextEdit first, blah blah blah........."until you feel ready to upgrade to something more up to date." :) 

This morning I updated to a gmail account!!! And I sent the beautiful letter and all attachments off to the potential employer! 

Tomorrow I am getting a new phone that does not have a data plan because we can save $$ if I don't have Internet on my phone. I am excited because it has a Touch Screen instead of a roller ball like my Blackberry.

 But I keep giving away my age when I keep calling it "Touch Tone!" Ha! Oh well.

Leave Me Alone So I Can Write!

I am going to cheat a bit and post the same thing here that I posted on my other blog with some additions to it just for you special people in my life........

Hi Friends, I think of you all as my friends even though I've never met the majority of you. You have been through some tough times with me this last year. My family has seen huge shifts and loss and we have also seen the goodness of our God in the middle of it all. His presence has not always been as big and obvious as I would choose, but it is there, in a deep and quiet place.

Personally I have made a very real and definite rearrangement of what I want to do with my life and my mother's death has only reinforced my determination to pursue this old dream of mine. Something about her stubborn tenacity to learn new things and be creative in brand new unknown areas has challenged me stop waiting passively for my "ship to come in."

The photos you see here are a sign of my intentionality to pursue writing and freelance writing with greater aggressiveness and purpose. I am smiling as I look at them because they look like the opposite of "aggressive and assertive"! But you are looking at my newly arranged Writing Space, just for me and just for serious writing. This is back in our spare room rather than in the living room where I usually write.

I won't check out Facebook in this chair and I will not normally write a blog here even though I am doing so right now. Blogging is my fun-time relaxation between my serious writing times. I know, blogging IS writing but there is a difference. You are not paying me!

I have two paying writing jobs right now. One of them is guaranteed $$ with each article I send in. The other has conditions and I will not always be paid $$. I am on the hunt for more of the guaranteed $$ type! 

But I have learned that I must set aside the time to go to my Writing Space just as if I was going into the office to work as I have done for the last decade. Sitting around my home without an outside job and only writing when the mood hits is not going to cut it anymore.

Think I need a footstool though!

And it's working! Today is Thursday. On Monday I came in here and pumped out three articles. Tuesday I sat in this comfy chair and wrote two articles and Wednesday I wrote  two more. This will be a $$ making week if I can continue this way. Can I do it? Why

 not?

My life has been turned upside down this last year (job losses, both our mom's passing) and it is not fun to feel like I am (we are) starting over again in our mid fifties. But, maybe the job loss was the only way that I would ever consider going after my old dream of being a writer? I'm not saying that God did it, but He is helping me to find the silver lining and the support from Hubs and my friends has been wonderful! Actually Hubs JUST recently began to see that I could really do this. He has watched me go after it relentlessly since last June when we first lost our shared job, and he sees that I can really bring in some $$. Because I have! I so want to tell you the numbers but that seems crass....oh whatever!.....I'm about to hit $1,000 coming in from my freelance writing! Yay me! But that is spread out from last June to this June and it was while I was working every day (at our interim job which has now ended.) outside the home. So now..........I am home all the time and shifting into full-time writing mode! 

Here I go!!

Thanks for listening and thanks for letting me have this one-sided conversation with you. Feel free to make it two-sided and leave me a comment!

Do You Have Old Kids?

I am trying to find the words to explain the pleasure I get from having my grown kids in my home. Even though my sons are 24 and 28, this is a new sensation for me. Twenty-four year old Rocker Son has only started coming around now that he has a new girlfriend and has cleaned up his life a bit. Writer Son is newly married and I think my enjoyment about his presence is that we are not always nagging at him about job, money, car etc. That's his wife's job now! Ha! Actually, being married has transformed him into a grown man taking on real responsibilities and that is totally a kick to watch!

I remember my mom talking a lot about how much she loved having us all home for visits. We could never stay long enough to please her. "Don't go home yet, spend the night!" I did not understand it. But I do now.

Well, I'm not sure that I really understand it, like I said at the beginning, I am having trouble putting my finger on why it brings me so much pleasure to have them around. After all, I am basking in the wonderfullness of the empty nest!

The empty nest is glorious for hubs and me! I have waxed rapturous about it way back here and several other posts as well. So what is it about sitting on the couch and watching my sons and their ladies laughing and jostling in the kitchen that warms my heart so much? Hubs and I will catch each others eyes and share a smile as we hear the loud laughter erupt, even if they are laughing at us. Which they definitely do. 

It may have something to do with watching them become grown-ups right before our eyes. Where did those messy, bumbling, noisy (well they are still noisy) little boys go? We can still see them very clearly in these handsome men that fill our kitchen up with their huge feet and tall bodies. 

Or it could be the joy in seeing them look at the girls they love! Oh my goodness! That is a truly amazing sensation to watch that happen! To listen to the cute, flirty banter and even the married bickering is funny to us.

I am so thankful that both my sons live close right now. I do not take it for granted, it could change in a moment. I intend to enjoy every minute I can while they live close enough to drop by if they happen to be passing by on their way to something else, or they want to watch a show we all love. 

And someday.....they will take a while to get in the house because they are busy unloading baby seats and grabbing the diaper bag! Someday, but for now they are more than enough!

Tick-Tock

It's after 11:00pm on Sunday night and Writer Son and Sassy Bride have just left. We hadn't seen them for several days so I Facebooked them yesterday and said, "Don't you people have any dirty clothes? I think you do."..........This morning Sassy answered my question with the comment, "LOL, yes, we'll be there this afternoon.". They come to our house to do their laundry, use my Mac and watch "The Amazing Race" with us and I love it! (But I will admit that they are the only two people that have such free use of my precious Mac!)

Now my house is totally quiet as I sit here in my family room. Well, it is not actually silent as in 'no sound at all.' The wonderful 1921 Regulator clock you see pictured here is ticking away and sending out it's beautiful chime each hour. 

I am looking forward to finding out the stories behind this clock that has been in Hub's family for ninety years. His mom is still on her death bed 600 miles away from us but she insisted we bring home their beloved wall clock. We are so honored and thrilled to give it a new home and would love to pass it on to one of our sons some day.

It really does look good on our brick red wall doesn't it? The second picture makes it look like the clock is crooked but it isn't. Must have been the way I held the camera. If the clock was crooked it would not allow the pendulum to move correctly. We are learning a lot about these seven-day wind up clocks.

The other favorite keepsake that hubs brought home was a sweet little pair of chickens his mom collected and he played with when he was little. She had chickens figurines every where, along with chicken dish towels, photos, calendars.... We ladies do love our collections don't we? Well, men do a lot of collecting too don't they? Sassy just told me about an uncle whose house was full of hundreds of clocks! 

Today we are enjoying the gentle tick-tock and the chimes that sometimes surprise us in this small house. It makes us feel connected to my mother-in-law and aware of what she is going through right now. She does not want to watch TV or be read to. She wants to just be. I can't imagine what that must feel like, to know you are living your last days. Making your peace with others and with God would definitely be all that is important to you. Everything else is pretty much meaningless, isn't it?

Tony - It Was A Love/Hate Relationship. We Loved Him and He Hated Us

I had not seen our ailing sixteen year old cat for the last two days so today I sent Hubs out to look for Tony. Hubs found him hidden in the ivy that covers our back fence. What I had suspected was true, he was not alive. He had crawled into his favorite spot, curled up to sleep and never woke up. Well actually, I do not know if he was curled up. I did not want to see him, and that is how I am picturing him whether it is true or not. We all knew that Tony was  about done with his final life. I swear he almost died so many times that this had to be the ninth life! Sixteen years ago Tony was a special surprise for Rocker Son's ninth birthday. Our life with Tony had a rocky beginning.

Hubs and I got him from a lady who rescued cats, gave them their

shots and fixed them and then gave or sold them to good homes. As Hubs and I entered her home we began to wonder what we were getting into. There were so many cats moving around that it felt like the room was alive! 

But the lady cheerfully led us out to her backyard which was lined with stacks of cages of kittens and full grown cats. I wandered over to the gorgeous persians who could be named "Princess", but Hubs was immediately drawn to a scrawny orange kitten. He convinced me that the poor little thing would turn into a cuddly Garfield kind of cat.

The angular face looked far from the round and healthy face of Garfield but he was ours now and there was no turning back. Rocker Son was ecstatic and very shocked that we got him a kitten! He said that since we had said no to a pet rat, he figured that a "cat cost even more than a rat" so we'd never get him one! Ha!

We had temporarily wrapped the kitten loosely in a box and when Rocker Son ripped open the birthday paper, the frightened kitten immediately jumped out and skittered around the entire house with all of us screaming until he finally found the perfect hiding place under a bed! I believe he stayed under there for several days and nights refusing to come out for anything. This is when I realized that the sweet cat lady had not had time to socialize her little orphans and we basically owned a wild kitten. 

Eventually Tony became a grudging member of our family. But he never became cuddly or anywhere near looking like Garfield. He looked like a neglected ally cat until his final days. Holding Tony was not a calming or soothing experience. You never knew when his internal clock would alert him that petting time was over this instant and not one second longer, on penalty of a scratched hand!

Ironically the one who chose Tony to join our family was the first to change from love to hate. Hubs got the first bad bite from Tony; right out of his nose! I don't believe they spoke ever again except to growl at one another. Tony ended his days looking pretty bad. Do you know what a cat looks like who has decided not to groom himself anymore? It's not pretty and he would not allow me to help at all. Before Hubs got to him with some good scissors Tony was a dread-locked beast. A rastafari cat if you will. Not pretty at all!

But he was still part of our family and the last to leave the nest today. I suppose I should get rid of his food & water dish. Maybe tomorrow.

HEY FRIENDS...Go to GoodBlogs and vote for my sweet Blogger friend Shawna on her first post in that venue. It's hilarious and very snotty!

Laughter and Tears

I carefully leaned across my mother-in-law's sick bed to hug her. I told her that all my friends are jealous of the great and loving MIL I have. She slowly breathes out these words, "Easy,.... six hundred miles away."


If I ever wondered where Hubs got his sarcastic and cynical humor, the answer is right in front of me! My deathbed MIL is spunky and alert. Her main concern is going gracefully. That and making sure that every single little trinket she has in her tiny apartment goes to the right family member. She keeps making us write down who gets what. We got to the point of just writing it down and nodding yes, even if we had no intention of bringing all those teacups back to California with us!

When Hubs teased her about Rocker Son having a tattoo artist girlfriend she shook her head with dismay. So Hubs reminded her that he was married to a lady with a tattoo and her response was, "Of course, look at your ear ring and long hair!"


Today we have said our good-byes and are now back home, 600 miles away. I can hear the gentle tick-tock of the 1921 Regulator pendulum clock she insisted we have. We feel honored to have it and it's lovely chimes in our home. Now our hearts are fragile and alert as we listen for the phone call that will tell us that Mom is really home.

My Secret Life As A Zombie

I recently came across this picture from 1966, yes I am old-ish, at least according to some of you,  but then there are a very few who would consider me young. (That group is shrinking by the day!) 

Anyway.....This is my little sis and me at a cousin-sleep-over. We are the two brunettes in the middle, I am on the left. 

Have you looked at our eyes? We totally look like zombies don't we? You'd think we just got back from a wild night of chasing people and ripping them apart or whatever it is that zombies do. I am refraining from Googling 'zombies' to see what they do. 

But actually my sis looks way more zombie-ish (sorry, I like "ish") than I do. She looks like she wants to eat the photographer for a midnight snack.

Another observation that I made just now as I sit here sipping my wine...........my hairstyle has pretty much morphed it's way right back to this one. That cannot be good! 

At this time in my life I was ten years old and had a sprinkling of brown freckles across my nose. I would call it adorable now, but I really hated them then. I used to rub lemon juice on my nose to fade them. My mom said they were kisses from angels or the sun.  Wasn't too happy about any kisses taken without my permission.

Not only do I have my ten year old hair-do again, but I am constantly using more and more concealer to cover up my face spots which are most definitely NOT angel kisses!

PS Wow, I just now enlarged the pic and I must apologize to my sis, I look even more like a zombie than she does!

Back In Time? No Thanx!

I love the gorgeous old iron work!

Thank you, Dear Bloggy Friends, for all your good wishes on our wedding anniversary this last week! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I read sweet words from people whom I've never even met! But we do feel like we know one another don't we? In some cases we are sharing more about our lives and inner thoughts than we have to very many others so maybe we do know each other in a real way!

Hubs and I celebrated our 33rd married year by spending the day in the city of our beginnings together. It's only an hour away but we no longer have any human connections there so we seldom return. It was a cold and rainy day so the car was our transport back into time rather than the motorcycle on this trip.

We left our hometown in 1992, so there have been many changes to the old neighborhoods and shopping centers. When returning after that many years, the truly FREAKY part is that even the houses and stores that came in AFTER we left are looking old and done with their prime time! There was an empty field that I used to ride my bike over to get to school, now it is an old and beat up looking neighborhood! What?! How can this be? The former FIELD is now old homes!! Crazy.

Antique architecture has been protected in our town.

One sad stop was at our favorite house. The little 1940's home that we poured ourselves into restoring with lots of love and care. Rocker Son was born two months after we moved in and Writer Son learned to ride a bike in the long driveway. Back in 1992 I had a difficult time saying good-bye to this little place with the cozy bay window kitchen nook.  This last Friday it actually made my tummy feel bad to slow down in front of our little love nest and see the cars in the yard and the paint we had brushed on it was now peeling off. 

But our tour through town was still a sweet one, filled with stories we hadn't laughed about in ages. Names of favorite grade school teachers came flowing back as we passed my school. The high school where hubs and I met brought back all the angst and longing of those years. As we turned a corner and went by a knot of teen boys on a corner, the look in their eyes said that not much had changed in that area!

About a block from our high school is the small conservative church we had attended with our families. The sign in front made me gasp out loud. It is now an Islamic center! wow! Times change. Our next stop was the shoe store we had worked in together at the beginning of our relationship. Read that story here , at My Reflections, where I Guest Posted last week.

Used to be counter to ceiling shelves of shoes!

The yellow mustard always remind us of our wedding!

We have visited the store many times over the years and have been unhappy to see creepy new stores take the place of our high end quality shoe store. But this time we smiled to see that it is now a beautiful art gallery with all new paint and fixtures. I told the owner that we used to work there years ago and she pointed to the one remaining ladder that had been saved. It used to have two huge red ladders that took us up to the high shelves to retrieve shoes for our customers. The ladders rolled along the counter and were great fun after hours! Hubs likes to tell people how he loved to position himself just right to enjoy watching me climb them! 

It is very strange to be the "old ones". The ones that remember the old days. How can it be? When did that happen? I have found my own Tupperware and dishes in ANTIQUE stores!! What? It seems like we spent so much time being the young ones, the couple that were too young in a land of older people. Now suddenly it is the other way around and I am not ready for it at all. I'm not ready to sit down and be quiet.

Okay, I am not going off on that tangent at this time. That's another post. 

Our trip back in time was a good day that ended with the movie King's Speech, which we both loved. But I do not want to go back in time for real. I love my life and my age right now. Hubs and I are in a strange moment of unknowing. It's not real fun yet, but it is open to all possibilities! Our jobs are gone and we are working part time while figuring out what is next. Income is way down but we aren't fearful. We are just waiting. 

Our city loves these "Ladies" as they call them!

What is the next phase? I'll let you know when I know. Thanks for being here Friends!

PS. How do you like my new custom made header? I love it! If you read my tab about the blog title it all makes sense!! Thank you Jodi!!

ME Day!

Thank you again everyone for getting me up to 200 Followers for my birthday this last Sunday! I appreciate and love to visit each and everyone of you. I have some fun pics of my 56th birthday of Feb 13th. I did what wise women have been doing for centuries; I set it up myself!

Sassy Bride (Left) and Girlfriend are so cute, I love them both so much!

When Hubs asked what I'd like to do for my special day, I told him I love going out to eat with both my sons and their ladies but we end up paying for it and they all go home once the meal is done. As we talked I got the best idea ever. I asked them all to come to our house and cook me a birthday dinner! My new DIL and Rocker Son's girlfriend both love to cook and they jumped on the plan with great enthusiasm. That made me feel good!

They worked together really well and enjoyed putting my Birthday meal together.

I am yakking away as usual. Rocker Son's Girlfriend (left) Writer Son (right).

Action shot!

I love, love, love having them all here together!

Amazing Dark Choc cake with choc cream cheese frosting.
Made from SCRATCH by Sassy Bride!

The Wings Are Getting Stronger

Hey Gang, thanks for all the help getting me up to 200 Followers by my birthday tomorrow! It's been so fun to come here and meet my new friends.

I am so excited and hopeful about tomorrow! I did what women have been doing for years in order to have a fun birthday party. I set it up myself. I asked my two clueless sons and their talented ladies to come cook me a nice dinner at our home. 

Today I got a call from Sassy Bride asking  about my favorite cake and then when I hung up and left the room I heard Hubs get a call from her. Rocker Son's girlfriend messaged me on Facebook that she is so excited to cook for me and has tons of ideas! So my plan is working! Yay!

Today Hubs wondered aloud how the day will be with two strong young women working in our kitchen together. Writer Son's Bride and Rocker Son's Girlfriend have only met once, when we all had New Year's Eve dinner together. It was fun and easy, they all seemed to hit it off wonderfully, we left the two young couples talking in the restaurant parking lot as we drove home. So even though they are both strong young ladies I have no doubt they will have fun doing our special dinner in my kitchen. 

As Hubs and I chatted about the girls he continued on the same theme. He reminded me that there is a very popular belief that many young people marry someone who is like their parent of that sex. We were walking into a food store while we had this conversation and I stopped and said, "But I am not a strong woman!". He literally laughed at me as we continued into the store. 

It is a beautiful thing to be loved by someone who sees you in a much better light than you see yourself.

2/13/11 UPDATE

Oh man, going to bed at 11pm on my birthday

with 199 Followers!

So close to 200!

Maybe the Follow fairies will visit

my blog while I sleep!!

Thanx and welcome to my new followers!

Help Me Get To 200?

FOLLOW FRIDAY 40 and Over

Want to give me a sweet BIRTHDAY present

this Sunday?

I just noticed that I have 189 Followers

and I really really want more numbers 

I don't really

care about silly numbers but,

I am wondering if I could get to

200 by my birthday?

As I told you the other day

I have invited my sons and their

lady-loves to come over

and make us a great meal.

I am so excited about this!

They are making plans (I hope!)

and it will be fun to have 

Writer Son and Sassy Bride,

Rocker Son and Gorgeous Girlfriend

here waiting on me and serving me an

amazing birthday dinner!

None of us have a lot of $$$ for gifts,

so you guys have to come through for me by

finding me some more Followers OK?

Of course you know

that i really really really want

that I do not really care

about numbers,

but it would be fun to have 200!

UPDATE! wow!
at 7:50 last night I had 189 Followers
and I asked for help getting my numbers up
 (which of course I do not really care about!)
by my birthday on Sunday.
Today at 3:30pm
I have 196 !!
You guys are awesome!!
Thank you!

Wordless Wednesday (Almost!)

Yes I love our cat Tony, but he's got some serious evilness in him!
We blame it on his 17 years, but he's always been mean.

Kissin' Cousins

 Sunday morning The Original 55'er Club finally had our reunion. It was all started by my use of Facebook to get us all reconnected many months ago! Five cousins born in 1955 were all turning 55 this year and it just seemed too cool to ignore!

You may notice that the photo on the cake shows six cousins. The one in red is actually one year younger and we generously made her an Honorary 55'er. Then less than one year after that pic was taken, the next to last girl in the cake pic died in an awful accident. Over the last two months we have been emailing and facebooking like crazy to find a date we could all meet, but it was crazy with all our busy schedules! At last we landed on November 7. After we set the date one of our aunts told us that Nov. 7th is the date that our deceased cousin would have turned 55!! So we had her with us as we celebrated her birthday! (Actually her snapshot is in cousin Loris hand but it did not show up in this shot as well as some others.)

 We met at a wonderful restaurant & Pub that I knew about in our area. I drove an hour, the others drove about 2 hours and one lived close by. I brought my 55'er dress that you have seen me wearing in earlier posts. Someone brought the ladybug toy that we all were given that same day about 50 years ago to celibrate our entering kindergarten.

 Every year at the family reunion, weddings & funerals we always had to line up in birth order for our special photo, so we did it properly this time too. Yep, I am the oldest, born in February of 1955. And I am the only one with NO grandkid pics to pass around!!

 It was great fun to pass around the old photo albums and remind each other of our thoughts and feelings back then. Our only boy 55'er brought his lovely wife and she was a riot! We have not been together like this in 15 years! We did get our 40th pic taken together.

We had a blast, lots of laughter, some tears, many hugs and promises

to do it again next year!

I am including this shot which was just sent to me tonight because it is the  only evidence
I have  of ever feeling good about my body! ha! Yep, I'm in a little red & white two piece suit!
 Happy as could be!