Thursday, January 8, 2009

Favorite Gift & Blog Talk

Tonight's post is going to be a two-parter.
Part 1- I came across this pic from my file of Favorite Things. This is a gift I got for Christmas last year & I still love it a lot. It's a metal flower with magnet on the back that holds pictures in the flower petals. It is on my fridge, isn't it cool? I love that it is super simple to change the photos whenever you want without frames, glue etc. I often do themes, like holiday pics, or vacation pics, or all me & hubs. One time I did all pics of the boys getting their first haircuts, you get the idea. As you can see the current collection is my boys hanging out together over the years, so of course the tv is in 50% of them! My SIL gave this to me last Christmas & I think she had a cute idea. Simple things can often be the best gifts.
Part 2- Blogging is a truly fascinating phenomenon, don't you think? Here we all are, typing our little hearts out to one another with abandon. Sharing just enough, some too much, some not enough to keep you coming back. We love the idea of speaking to strangers but immediately begin to form friendships & "Followers" & clubs & blogroll groups.

I enjoyed the idea that no one out "here" knows me yet, so I would be free to express myself without self-editing. But now when I sit down to write, I am picturing my 18 precious subscribers & I feel like I am writing them a letter instead of sending out an anonymous musing about life. I want you to keep liking me enough to come back, so is that leading me to self-edit again? I hope not.

It's very possible that we as social beings, cannot stop ourselves from gathering into groups with common desires or viewpoints. That's not a bad thing but I am determined not to only read blogs of people just like me. I like me, but I need a broader view on life. No it's not really that I NEED a broader view, I am just hungry for it now.

At first I was afraid (warning whenever THAT word comes up!) that anyone under 50 would never want me to be leaving them a comment on their young & stylish blog. I avoided the blogs that were all about raising children because that is not my life anymore. I even looked up all the blogs that mention "menopause" thinking that since that is where I am, that is where I should stay! Unfortunately, I found most of those to be terribly depressing & cranky! THAT is NOT where I am! I am ready to laugh about menopause & there are some blogs that see the humor in this crazy season of life, but even those were often interspersed with many posts about how awful it is to get old, or describing their latest doctor visits in detail! No thanks.

So I began to leave short, tentative comments on blogs that lifted me up, made me laugh or smile. Even if they were way younger than I am. I figured, "Well, they can come see me & then ignore me if they want. I won't be too pushy." The great thing is that now I have a good variety of people who comment me & I "follow", because you lovely people responded openly with warmth & lots of words of encouragement. I have been pleasantly surprised!

I love blogging! It's so fun to come across another blogger in "real life" because they get it. Others get a strange & befuddled look on their face when I mention getting "tagged" or given an award or talk about linking. It is a difficult thing to explain to non-bloggers isn't it? This weird & perverse need to put our words & inner selves out there. Why do we do it? ..........I believe it may have something to do with finding others who are like us........and finding those who are different from us.....and still enjoying all of us.


  1. You were my first follower! I never once put you into an 'age' category or any other category for that matter. Your blog is so diverse! Age is just a number. It's all about experiences. No pressure...just write good stuff and we'll stick around! ;)

    Have a fabulous day Walking Butterfly...

  2. Thanks Grey & Simplicity, you both make me smile again & again.

  3. Full disclosure:

    Your first comment on my blog was completely and totally flattering. :) actually, all of them are! It feels so wonderful to have an anonymous stranger tell me they like who I am-- even when I share my vulnerable parts. Thank you for following me!!

  4. Hey, you see? that was easy :)) Menopause is where I'm at too but Im' not looking for venting sites either! I could have written this and you could have written my post; funny that :) Look fwd to seeing and hearing more of you, Brenda Susan...

  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. Great stuff. I have had some of the same thoughts but never put them in a post. I think it really is all about seeking community yet having a buffer so that we have a way out if it's too much. Or maybe just enough anonymity to stay "safe" emotionally. Plus, we are all protective of our time now; it has become the most precious commodity. The blogs are there at any time, mid-day or 3:00 a.m., so we can "relate" when it's convenient for us. Now, there are a lot of self-centered messages in what I've just said, but honestly, I do think the strongest impetus for blogging is community. I love writing, too.

    Oh, I came to ask about what you said on my blog today about the things you've never done, and your background sounds similar to mine. I never saw a movie in a theater until I was a teenager. Did your denomination by any chance start with an "N?" :)

  7. I never let anyones age in the equation of who I read. I just look at other peoples links and read. Afte that I decide to check to learn more info about them. I write to anyone whose
    blog I like. I guess I felt the same way when I started. Blogging is cheaper than a psychiatrist.

  8. Lesley, It was so fun to come across your site early on. I was enjoying you & your outlook & then suddenly recognized some places & realized that we are in neighboring towns! I laughed outloud on that surprise!

    Braja,thanks for commenting! The real reason I was a lurker on your site was that you are a serious yoga person (in India no less!) & I am only doing a very commercialized yoga video of the positions. I'm sure you'll forgive me right? :)

    2nd Cup, I agree with your thots on blogging being a great way to be social on our own time convenience. And the built-in buffer zone, like that a lot actually!

    Claudia, Thanks for commenting! Yes, blogging is defintely cheaper & easier than therapy!

  9. The internet is amazing -- people become friends who would never otherwise meet. Your blog is super Brenda; thanks!

  10. Thanks Amy, I love yours too, it is so educational, without feeling stuffy or academic. I appreciate your kind words to me also.

  11. Hi--

    Just stopping by to get caught up with your blog. Getting so hard to do as I find more and more blogs and try to have a "real" life. I was even reading a book tonight but felt the call of the blogs...

    I decided to comment on this post because of your thoughts about blogging. (Though I loved the cross your friend made -- beautiful! Just what it SHOULD look like in my mind!) I've been thinking a lot about blogging because well, I really have been spending an awful lot of time blogging and it just fulfills me in such a way that I didn't expect. It is amazing to me how fun it is and how social it seems when you don't even really see the people in real life. Yet that is why I think it works so well -- you have the "shelter" of anonymity but still can be your truest self. Weird, isn't it?

    I know what you mean about the age thing and being a little nervous to "jump in" to a blog that feels a bit out of my own life. But you know what all bloggers have in common I think? We LOVE COMMENTS ... I haven't come across a blog yet that wasn't open to having me say something. Though one of my new resolutions is not to comment unless I actually have something to say. (For example, I'm not going to just comment on a photo of a cute kid and say "cute kid" because I don't think it really adds anything. Then again, how do they know I was there.)

    And the whole weirdness of having "followers" is both exciting and fun and intimidating. But I think if you start writing to an audience and not to yourself, you risk losing what people liked about your blog in the first place. And if it starts to feel like work then I think the whole thing will start to go bad. I've actually had to struggle sometimes when I was working too hard at a post and it felt like work. My husband said "Then why are you doing it? Just do what you want. This is not a job, you know." And he was write. I just deleted that post I was laboring over and did something else that just flowed out of me.

    Wow! This was really long.

    And thank you for your lovely comment earlier. You always make me feel so good!

  12. Jenners - I totally agree with you on all counts. Keep it fun should be another blog rule huh? Thanks for all your super sweet & encouraging comments!

  13. I am not that old to be going through menopause, but I am not young either, almost 40, but my blog is about our life bringing up our 2 boys who are 3 & 5. I actually enjoy blogs by a different range of people as I always learn something. If it is blog by someone with older children it allows me to dream of the time when mine will be older.

  14. Yay Boysmum2! Thanks for coming AND for being my newest "Follower"! Welcome! I enjoyed your blog just now also!


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