Today I determined to make a change in my normal, somewhat passive style of spending time with my sons. As empty-nesters we have never wanted to be the kind of parents that make their kids feel guilty about not coming over enough. I have been out of my childhood home for about 34 years, but when I do spend time at my parents home, the first 20 minutes are always filled with complaints that I don't come often enough!
I do not want to be that for my sons!
The trouble with the fear of being too demanding is that we find ourselves being too passive about our desires. Both my sons and their lady-loves live in my area. I know what it feels like to have one of them live out of state for a season and you never know when that could happen again. So, I need to grab this opportunity and enjoy having them live close by.
I know that many of you have grown kids and grandkids living far away and it is painful and sad. You want to be involved in their lives and be able to enjoy the wonderful people you have raised!
It would be silly for me to let this time get away from me. We are busy, Writer Son and Sassy Bride are busy, Rocker Son and Girlfriend are busy people. It would be very easy to remain passive about socializing with them, and that would pretty much mean it will not happen except for Birthdays or Holidays.
So, today I made a decision to invite the boys and their girls here for pizza and a game night once a month or once a week, whatever. I don't know how often, but I do know that it needs to be a regular set time, otherwise it will not happen.
Actually I learned this intentional-friend-time idea from Writer Son. He has always seen friendship as a very important thing to value and be serious about. He started setting up certain days to spend with certain friends each week way back in High School!
I desperately do not want it to be an obligation thing, you know? So far, I know they like to be with us, just want to keep it that way!
What do you and your grown kids or you and your parents do together on a regular basis? Any ideas out there for me? Hubs and I used to eat Sunday dinner with my folks when they lived in the same town as us. Do I decide and then invite them, or should I put out the suggestion and we all figure it out together?