Mother's Day Barbie!

I am pretty much out of the loop when it comes to the latest Barbie dolls on the market. I have two grown sons, so every Christmas I usually choose a girls’ name from a charity Christmas tree that gives me an excuse to buy a Barbie & some fun accessories for a deserving little girl in our community! That is my only link to Barbie, until I become a grandmother anyway!

But, in honor of Mother’s Day I am wondering if these ideas have been used in the last 50 years of Barbie-dom. Has there ever been an edition of Pregnant Barbie? She could waddle her way into her dream home & there would be a whole new array of maternity clothes for her. They could sell that special cream you put on your belly to prevent stretch marks & her feet could slowly swell until she had to always wear slippers every where she went. You could buy pickle flavored ice cream & Skipper & her friends could give her a baby shower! Little girls could learn how the body changes shape & hear the first heartbeat with a tiny little sonogram machine. She may have a hidden button you push that makes her water break all over her maternity jeans with the stretchy panel in the front.
The next purchase would have to be Mommy Barbie, who comes with a perfect baby & a car-seat for the pink convertible! For a little extra you could buy the super deluxe stroller that turns into a playpen or baby pool. Since the stretch mark cream never really works, she would definitely have them all over the place. Some extra accessories may be a breast pump & one of those cool baby wraps that keep the baby close to mommies’ heart all the time. A baby monitor is a must, along with baby clothes & all new transition clothes for Mommy Barbie while she slowly loses the baby weight over the next 5 years.

Oh man, this just opens up a whole new world for her! There could be Soccer Mom Barbie, Carpool Barbie, Hire- A- Nanny Barbie, Single Mom Barbie, Mommy-Blog Barbie! There is no end of great ideas & opportunities out there! Of course, maybe there already is a Mommy Barbie, like I said; I am way out of the loop on this stuff. But I will bet you there is not a……

Menopause Barbie!! I mean, she IS fifty years old now folks! She would come with an assortment of tiny fans, both manual & electric. Her face would unexpectedly turn several shades of red & pink without warning & beads of sweat would roll down her face & back in the middle of important work meetings. She would come with several pairs of light weight pajamas to change into through the night as the night sweats hit her. She would also need an ID bracelet to help her remember her name & maybe a special beeper to help her find her convertible in the parking lot! Of course she must have a treadmill & stationary bike or at least a gym membership to get rid of that new tummy fat that just won’t budge! And a dermatologist friend who can help her with the unsightly facial hair that sneaks up on her, poor thing. At least now she doesn’t have to worry about contraception….um no, I’m not gonna go there!