I am sitting here in my house that is totally silent other than a loud tick-tock from our inherited wall clock. I just kissed the Hubs good-bye before he roared off to work on his motorcycle. I always go stand at the front door as I watch him ride away for his hour long commute to work each day. I feel like June Cleaver. 

I may be channeling her these days because I am a work at home writer now and I often have dinner ready when he gets home and even if he does not arrive home until 10pm, I try to make sure there is something for him to eat before bed. Who is this person? Ha! 

I have sent out tons of blog posts that included these lines: "I never cook because I hate it and we eat out every day for lunch while at work so we just snack at dinner time."  That was our pattern, our lifestyle once upon a time. But our pattern has changed into something completely different and still strange. Hubs works as a cashier in a store for minimum wage about 30 hours a week and I bring in about $100-$150 a week with small writing jobs while I try to get "the big one". 

So I stand at the front door of our house which is still ours (yay!) and I am full of thanks for my life and my husband and kids. Sometimes the really loud ticking of our lovely pendulum clock gets on my nerves because I am not used to being home alone, so I put music on nice and loud as I clean the house and write my brains out. :) 

I am especially excited this week because I have been invited to write Guest Blog Posts to two big blog-sites this next week and my mind is tumbling with ideas! These jobs do not pay, but they get me seen and known and it appears that networking and being seen is pretty important for a writer these days. I will give you links to the blogs when it happens.

Becoming a bit of a hermit was not what I expected with this new lifestyle though. My big outings are Walmart and my Tuesday nights with girlfriends. That's it! We don't always go to church on Sundays because Hubs works and I am still not used to going alone. 

But yesterday I had lunch with a friend and former student and it was wonderful! As she questioned me on my writing goals and I got passionate about what I want to write about she kept saying, "Oh that would be a great chapter title!!"  Ha! So I came home and made notes for my possible book that I dream about and fantasize over. 

Who knows? Right now the clock is tick-tocking and reminding me that this blog post is not paying me anything and it is time to move on. I do not see blogging as wasted time though. It is a lovely place to sort my thoughts and connect with you, may cyber friends. I am thankful for you and I pray that this day will hold good promise for you as well. 

Riding and Writing....

I have to say that this leisurely life is really a great way to live! Lately I have lost track of what day of the week it is and sleeping in every single day. I could get used to this. We are getting chores and projects done around the house and yard. Things are looking nice and clean and organized. I even cleaned out that scary nasty dark place under our bed! Why did I save years of magazines under there? No clue. But getting all this done feels great! This is the life.

If it just wasn't for that pesky little fact that we are unemployed and have zero moola coming in. 

Oh yeah, that.

I doubt that it ever slips Hub's mind though. How long will we have this house? How many more weeks can we stretch out of our savings? Leftovers and our garden are looking pretty yummy these days. When we had jobs we ate lunch out every single day and then just snacked at dinner time. As of today we have not eaten in a restaurant of any kind, even fast food, in two months. 

We are looking better though! Must be the healthy vegies from the garden we are making full meals out of. I even cut my own hair 2 weeks ago and saved us my usual $30 salon cut. And it looks great! 

But the not working has also made us a bit stir-crazy. I love to write and have spent hours each day doing so. Sending stuff to magazines and online job offers. But oh man, you can only do so many chores around the house and we are so very thankful for our bike that allows us some free entertainment that feeds our spirits and rejuvenates our minds.

Every time we ride I get writing ideas! It's amazing. Must be something about the fresh air and inspiration of nature. I always come back to the house with blog and article plans buzzing in my head. My two favorite activities lately work together really well....riding and writing!

All the luggage we took on a recent overnight trip with a  B&B Gift Certificate!

No Judgement Zone

Made this myself with picnik.com!

Need to rework the colors of the lettering though.

It is for my other blog.

The blog is called Recovering Church Lady

and it is geared toward believers who

are spinning their wheels

and striving to make God love them.

I've lived there and the guilt

is a heavy thing that

my loving God did not intend.

I am hoping that my words

about how much they are totally loved

already without any of the hard work

and sacrifice,

will give them a glimpse of the freedom

He designed for them to enjoy.

So many have no clue how easy it is to please God.

We've made it ridiculously complicated.

And then use harsh judgement on others

to make us feel good.

Recovering Church Lady is a safe place of freedom and refreshment!

A New Direction

*

I cannot tell you how much better I felt after writing last night's blog post! It seemed like I turned a corner in being honest with you, my five or six regular readers. (Even though I have over 200 Followers, I know I have lost many due to my recent sporadic posting and even less commenting. But this is the beginning of my come-back if you will.) I do sincerely want to thank my faithful few who have stuck with me and been so very encouraging in these last months of family loss and job loss. You are the best! Rob-Bear, Betty, Bipolar Diva, Kim, EmptyNester, and Bouncin' Barb, thanks so much! I have acquired a few new commenters recently and I welcome you also but will not try to name you now or I will be here forever making all these links!

This morning it occurred to me that this blog site has become something very different than what I had envisioned it in it's birth. I thought I had a story to tell of my journey from one place to another in my heart and mind. From stuffy school marm to freedom embracing motorcycle mama. I loved my job working with twenty-somethings and bragged on and on about living the life you love by doing a job that matches up to your passion.

I believe that I have been doing that, I was always honest and I held little back from you about my life. Then when the job ended and things were not so rosy and full of passion, I backed off from full disclosure and even considered closing this blog down. It became neglected and an afterthought to put up a general picture filled post. 

But this morning's thought came to me about Walking Butterfly; it is still a place of honesty, though the message may change because the JOURNEY has changed! And that's OK. My new journey presently is one of walking (or flying) onto a blank canvas. Into the unknown and unexplored. Hubs and I are jobless. We have our home and enough to pay for it for a couple more months. 

I have no clue whatsoever about how this story is going to end. Will one of us find an amazing and money filled job in the next few weeks? Will we end up without this home we love after all? Will I get a shocking writing offer that saves the day? Will I need to give up my dream and go sell tacos at Taco Bell?

So, lucky you! You get to be part of this mysterious true story. I am back and you my dear bloggy friends will be my safe outlet to spew the good, the bad and the ugly. Aren't you just so excited and thankful? Ha! 

I am.

* (Pic credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/11565139)

Do Your Dishes Talk?

Have said it before but I am saying it again! I LOVE my empty nest. But it does get kind of quiet and boring every once in a while. ...I know that those of you who are currently chasing little munchkins around your house and yard are wanting to cuss at me after that statement.....Sorry, but your quiet, boring moments will come, they will.

As I was saying, it does happen around here, but not so often that I wish they'd move back home! Nope, that is not happening (knock on wood). But I really do love it when they come spend the evening or day with us. I never knew how fun it would be to be around my sons and their Loves as adults.

For a small peek at one of the best things about their visits, hop on over to my latest post at GoodBlogs, called I Think My Dishes Are Talking To Each Other and help vote it to the Top Posts for me won't you?

Thanks friends!,

Time For Work

I've got about five more minutes on my blogging timer for this morning! I have been getting more INTENTIONAL with my writing and the way I use my time. Since I am out of work and we've had some pretty major family issues lately, I have fallen into the bad habit of staying up late, sleeping in and vegging out all day online without producing much of anything. Not good! (C'mon spell-check, "vegging" is a word now right?) 

So I have had to get tough with meself and set a timer for morning blogging, then exercise, then shower, then serious writing and market research. The serious writing may sometimes include blogging, but not every day.

I have kept that schedule for a whole 3 days counting today!! Ta-daa! Ha!

I miss you all and feel like I have been letting this blog slip into last place. I love this place a lot though. It is my no rules, say anything place that I still need very much! I want to thank you all for sticking with me through all of the death themed posts of recent weeks. I am sure there are more to come and I know you understand.

Thank you for all the kind and encouraging comments! 

Block Shmolck!

Every once in a while I come across a blogger who fills up their post with complaints about not know what to write about. Some call it "writer's block" others would call it a boring life. But in reality no life is boring. You may be stuck in a job that is boring or your life may be extremely routine, but there are always tiny spots of interest in every life I believe.

I have recently come across a wonderful site that you may be interested in when you get stuck in front of a blank Word doc and the blinking curser is cursing you! Go check out Creative Writing Prompts.com. They have a page full of numbers from 1 to 346. When you move your curser over a number it will show you a one or two sentence writing idea! This could be a fun challenge to make yourself do whichever one pops up or you could pick and choose till you see something that gives you a spark!

I am now writing three separate blogs. Two, including this one, are personal and non-paying (Unless you want to count the 3 cents I have earned using Adsense.) . One of the three is a great paying venue that I am in love with! I have gushed about it here before, so I won't go into it again except to say it is called Goodblogs and it is fun and easy! I am also still writing web content for a baby product site that pays me a small amount per article. Online magazines are still being searched out and submissions have been made, but they are less fulfilling because it takes so long to hear back from them.

And yet, the words keep flowing! It's almost as if the momentum of writing more is making me want to write more! Ideas come in the night, while I am on Hubs motorcycle, while a preacher is preaching or a TV show is blaring. I can't wait to get it all down. My personal life is not terribly interesting or full of drama. Sometimes I would love a bit more drama. But that could be a dangerous wish so I won't do that!

I think that momentum has a lot to do with keeping the ideas coming. So maybe that is why the writing prompts site is a really useful tool for all of us. Open the laptop or desktop and start tapping away.....at ANYTHING! It helps somehow. Maybe it is the principle of "priming the pump."

Happy Writing!

GETTING PAID TO PLAY?

My Sweet Mac!

For nine months I have spent every spare moment and some stolen moments trolling the Internet for freelance writing jobs that pay. I have learned a lot on that journey and still have oodles more to learn. (For instance, "never use the word 'oodles' in your writing"!) But it has not been wasted time because it has been clarifying what kind of writer I want to be. I still do not have it all figured out but I am getting there bit by bit.

The loss of my job and Hubs job at the same time kicked-started my desire to find a way to gain money from something that comes easily to me....words. I knew and still realize that in May when this temporary low paying job is done, we will both need to get "regular" jobs. (And that freaks us both out a LOT!) Cannot imagine what two ministers are gonna do "out there" without any skills beyond loving God and helping people to see that God loves them back. (You may see us on the news holding cardboard plea's for $$.)

BUT, and it is a BIG but, I am in love with the brand new blog-site called Goodblogs! They just started up in late February and the blurb that I read about them sounded too good to be true. Anyone can submit an original blog post in one of their six categories and if it gets VOTED to the Goodblog Home Page, you make $20.00. Just like that! 

I have submitted three posts since March 7, 2011 and earned $60.00 into my paypal account! So as much as I can put into it, that's how much I will get out of it. To stir things up and bring votes in, I did ask everyone on my two blog-sites and my Facebook page to vote for me, and they/you did. I am hoping that as the other bloggers on the site get to know me and recognize me, they will vote for me as I have been voting for them. 

I only vote for good writing though. My vote is not an easy giveaway and I hope that the votes I get are based on my writing more than friendship or loyalty. I want to thank you all for helping me and encouraging me in this venture. 

It feels like I am getting paid to play because I adore sitting here tapping away on my Mac. (In fairness, I also loved writing on my old non-Apple devices.) Can I really be bringing in a few dollars just by expressing my thoughts to strangers? Yes! And it would be delicious if it eventually led to higher paying jobs in the blog world or any world for that matter. 

In the meantime I am loving what I get to do on the side. Those three posts that brought me $$ were done in spare moments after dinner, between classes or before work. They did not even interfere with my Writing Wednesdays! Who knows how many I could get out there if I really gave it a huge chunk of time? 

So this is my second time to have a job that pays me to do something I love. Not many people can say that can they? I loved teaching in a college bible school for ten years and I love getting paid to let my happy fingers fly over my keyboard.

I am blessed!

A Dog Talked To Me About God.....

FIRST... I want to say thank you very much for going to GoodBlogs and voting my blog post onto their Homepage and thereby earning me an easy $20!! What a fun new site, you should check it out and make some fun bucks for yourself!

SECOND... Recently I spilled my guts to you about the tough time Hubs and I are going through regarding our job situation and the great big empty space we see as the next step. We still have no clue what is next or how we will earn a living. BUT...


My heart is no longer feeling so bruised and alone. Sometimes for a person of faith, it really takes a  very small event to remind them that they are not alone. My "small event" came in the shape of a dog named Sadie.

Sadie is a Blog-Friend of mine who somehow got her paws onto her owner's (But I actually believe that SADIE owns him rather than the other way around!) computer and sent me an encouraging email that was very sweet. THEN a little later Sadie wrote me again saying that as she was going to bed she suddenly had a Celtic prayer come to mind and thought it may help in my situation.

Here is where the "small event" became a big event in my week. I immediately recognized the prayer as Psalm 27:4 even though it was not marked that way in the email, because Psalm 27:4 has been my chosen life verse since 1997! Hello! 

Psalm 27:4

One thing I have asked of the Lord,

this is what I seek;

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

all the days of my life;

to behold the beauty of the Lord

and to seek Him in His temple.

The prayer included this verse and it was a strong reminder of the ONE THING that is important in my life, in this situation and how I will walk through it. My focus has been re calibrated, re-aligned so that I am refusing to allow the negatives around me to determine who I am or what atmosphere I carry around with me. (Is that churchy-talk? Sorry.) Not sure how else to say it other than that I am choosing to look at God and how much He loves me rather than the ugly stuff around me. It does not make the ugly stuff go away, but it truly is amazing how much it shrinks it! Ha! 

"Beholding the beauty of the Lord" means refusing to dwell on the negative and instead reminding myself of all the good things in my life and all the good things I have seen God do for my family in the past. It sounds so silly and simple doesn't it? But it is not easy, it is an intentional fight in my mind, to pull the worry thoughts back into line. 

To top it off I skyped my sister for the first time today and she asked what was going on with us. I didn't tell her much because I wanted the call to be fun and enjoyable not complaining. So she says...

"Well, I felt like I was supposed to

pray for you this week

and all I heard God say to pray about was

your work."

!!!

Haha! How do you like that? 

So my friends, you have had a small glimpse into my life and pretty much the way things happen for Hubs and I. I usually reserve my more "God-stuff" posts for my other blog and try to keep this kind of neutral so that anyone can feel comfortable here, but since I blubbered all over you with my doubts, I figured you also deserved to hear the result. Thanks for reading and thanks for all the kind words. 

I love this blog-world a lot!

I've Been Invited......!!!!

I am so excited! I have been invited to do my first Guest Blog! I am sure many of you have been enjoying the Love Bytes Series over on Priya's blog, MY REFLECTIONS  for the month of February. Every day she has a different invited guest blogger share a love byte or a thought about LOVE. It's been so fun and diverse, I'll let you wander over there and check it out yourself. But tomorrow, Feb. 18 is my turn! I chose that day because it is my 33rd Anniversary!! I know! that's a LOT of years, you don't have to tell me! 

So, go on over there and read all 17 posts so far, then tomorrow go again and read mine! Thanks!

Pictures Are Not Words

Yesterday as I was changing the color on this blog, I also made the text section wider so that it would not be such a long skinny space for my words. But as I was looking back over my recent posts to see how it looked I noticed a disturbing trend.

I have been letting pictures do my writing for me. I am not one to set up lots of rules for my blogging. I learned a long time ago, before blogging, not to set up strict rules for journaling either. I just wrote in my journals whenever and whatever I wanted. I filled about three large baskets of journals over the years by just letting it be fun and not harsh at all. 

I know that lots of bloggers have certain days to write certain subjects, and goals are good, but like new years resolutions, they can also become confining and self-condemning. Why do that to yourself?

Having said that, I am not happy to see that I have been posting photos rather than describing my life and my observations to you. I love a post with pics, so that is not a bad thing, but it has become a lazy thing for me. In this new year I am promising myself that I will use words more than photos to share myself with you.

See my writing chair, in my writing room up there? It is my happy place. I do have to go to work most days of the week when I would rather be in that chair tapping away on my beloved Mac. I am already staying home from work on Wednesdays to write. Who knows what my schedule will be by the end of 2011. 

Today is the third day of a brand new year. I will be fifty-six next month. It is time to do things my way. And my way is the write way! Ha! I am such a witty one aren't I? On your mark, ready, set, let's GO into this new year our way!

My Brilliant Idea!

Last night while I should have been sleeping I had this brilliant idea. I was so excited about it I wondered if I should get up and write it down so I wouldn’t forget it. But it was too cold outside my covers so instead I thought about it over and over again in that strange sleep cycle thing where you are both asleep and awake. It is somewhere between the two probably.

Then I must have fallen asleep because I woke up! I knew there was something I wanted to remember. I started to think it might have seemed like a grand idea while I was sleepy but not so great once the sun shines on it. You know those amazing blog ideas in the middle of the night that make absolutely no sense in the morning?

BUT, it survived the sunlight and turned out to be a pretty good idea. Wow, all this build up was probably not smart! I will just spit it out already so you will no longer be holding your breath in happy anticipation……….

I am going to create my own writing challenge or meme as the blogosphere calls them. Still have no idea what the word “meme” signifies though. This meme will be for myself as a way to jump-start some writing prompts for fun.

I have filled dozens of personal journals over the years. I kept diaries when I was in school and continued all through college, single life, and early marriage. Then when I was pregnant with my first child I bought a pretty blank book and really began to record my thoughts, prayers, complaints, inner conversations and questions.

I still have all those diaries, spiral notebooks and journals full of my scribbles. These are me. My stories of parenting, pastoring and finding out who I am. As a new mom I knew that the special moments were just that. Just moments. So I wrote word pictures of our life together. I described the dirty soap left behind in my boy’s bathroom, the leggos in the fridge and the stress of carpooling 5 junior high boys.

My great idea? Every once in a while I am going to randomly pick up a journal and open it without looking and then write about whatever is on that page.

It does not actually sound that great as I type this, but it will be. My journals span about forty years of my life so you never know what season I will be writing about. I am looking forward to the challenge.

So, whenever you see the above picture of my journals, you will know it is my Random Journal Day. And, yes, I need a better name than that don’t I?

Blog Decorating Question....

This morning in our church we practiced the idea of giving and receiving in a very different way from "normal" church. People were told to bring something from their home that they wished to give away. Sort of a "Holy Swap Meet" Ha!

People lined up in front and described what they brought into the microphone and whoever wanted it could come up and get it. It went way smoother than I would have imagined it! It got to be so fun and rowdy as we cheered for each item going with it's new owner. Really fun! There were purses, candles, dining room sets, dryers, a skill saw, baby crib, one hour massage...on and on it went. Wonderful!

 

After the service one of my favorite former students came to me to chat and I suddenly knew why our paths had crossed that morning. 

I have been wanting a new header for my blog. A few days ago I started wondering if there was anyone I knew who could do the art work for me. I had a picture in my mind but I do not have the skills to put it on paper. You don't believe me? The drawing above is my evidence!

Years ago when I had a small epiphany about freedom in my life, it came with a visual in my head. (See epiphany under the TAB marked "Why Walking Butterfly" at top of page.) This crude drawing is the best I could do to represent what I saw. It's not a horrible drawing but not as cute and colorful as the one in my head.

So this morning the darling student who approached me just to say "Hi" and share a hug also happens to be an amazing artist! She has already done the illustrations for more than one book. The timing just hit me as we talked and I told her of my need for an artist and she jumped at it! She is in art school and was hoping people would be calling her to do work. 

I described the "walking butterfly" that I "saw" in my head. She was walking down a sidewalk all prim in her matching shoes and purse oblivious to the fact that she had a pair of huge, colorful and gorgeous wings being dragged behind her that could take her much higher and faster than she could imagine! 

My friend is thrilled to do it and happy to use her talent this way. The question I have for those of you who know how to design your blog headers is this: What dimensions do I give her? She will draw it and then scan it and send it to me most likely. Do I ask for a 5 inch tall drawing or what? Or does it even matter since it will be scanned and re-sized that way? 

Thanks for your help!

New Season = New Look!I

I asked Hubs opinion on a new Header Pic. I am not sure how
 to make the header smaller though. It kind of hits you in the face doesn't it?

This one & the chosen one were his favs. 

He hated this one! I still like it.

This is a fav for both of us but I turned the butterfly too much.

What do you think?

Meet Me On Monday

Meet Me On Monday
Here are Java's words to explain this Blog Hop called Meet Me On Monday...
"Blogging is a funny thing...we tell our most intimate thoughts for all to read and yet most of the time I find myself sitting and wondering, "who is this person!?" I know them...but yet I don'tknow them! I want to know who the person is behind all those words so I thought of a great way for all of us to "meet" each other!

Every Sunday I will post five get to know you questions that you can copy and paste into your own Monday post and we can all learn a little more about each and every one of us!"

1. What is the best dish you can make?

I love to make tacos! Otherwise I only make reservations or a phone call for pizza!

2. How often do you change your sheets?

Every 2 weeks or so, but if I had these I would never change them and I would also stay up all night reading! But I don't think I would need to hold my finger on each word like she is!

3. What is the longest car trip you have ever taken?

We drove from California to Idaho last winter for a wedding. Not a fan of hours spent in the car! A long motorcycle ride sounds like fun though!

4. What is your favorite fruit?
Too many to name but the best is fruit with thick slices of great cheese and a good glass of wine! The best!

5. Would you rather have breakfast for dinner or dinner for breakfast?

French toast for dinner with fruit and powdered sugar is the best! But a terrible thing to eat at night!

Ok, now you know me a bit better. Not sure those questions tell you much more than I've already blurted out on here, but there you go! Now I'm going to go read about you.

To My Surprise...There's A Book In Me!!!

I am utterly shocked, surprised and thrilled to suddenly discover a book in me! I have ALWAYS loved to write, as my readers know. But the desire for a book was never strong. I wanted and still want to write an ongoing column or article for a magazine or newspaper or e-magazine. The only time I recall wanting to write a book is every time I watch Little Women! Ha! When Jo sees her book for the first time....OMG!

This recent season of joblessness and much inner soul searching has been tough and wonderful at the same time. With time on my hands I have pursued the whole writing thing with a bit more seriousness. Two articles have been submitted to magazines online and off. I am subscribed to places that weekly email me about writing opportunities, what magazines want from writers etc.

One day last week I was out in my backyard journaling before beginning my day. I was complaining about accomplishing nothing the few days prior. The only good thing I could find that felt rewarding was that I gave some light encouragement and counsel to a young ministry wife who is a good Blog-Friend of mine. It was fun and something that comes easy to me after 30 years in all varieties of ministry leadership. She was grateful for my words.

I was journaling the above words and then, my journal reads like this........."OK just had a tiny imagination break just now and this is what I saw: a small How To book for minister's wives written by me. It would be all about releasing them from all the "shoulds" and false expectations that are placed on them by themselves and by others. It would tell them that God is just not as hard to please as they think He is!

Hmm what would the chapters be?..............."

And my Blog Friends, the next two pages of my journal suddenly filled up with eight chapter titles and 4 to 5 subheadings under each one! As if it had been just waiting to be released!! Crazy!

The next few days I did something that shocked me even more. I told all my good friends about it! The more I talked the more excited we all got and they encouraged me so much! Here is some background: I have helped Hubs be a youth pastor, associate pastor, interim pastor, senior pastor, college age pastor and ministry school overseer. On my own I have directed a nursery ministry, been head director of Sunday School, kids church, taught Sunday school classes to most ages including college, lead women's ministry & local ministerial women's group, blah,blah, blah on it goes!

And through it all I raised a couple boys and journaled every bit of it. I have sometimes wondered if all those years of stories, the good, the bad and the ugly were ever going to be pulled out again or were they just going to grow dust in my closet.

I journeyed from being a super uptight 'church lady' to a happy woman who walks in freedom with a butterfly tattoo and a motorcycle jacket in the last 15 years. My heart hurts when I read of young or old women who are still striving so hard to please God and other people. God is totally delighted in them already! And if He is pleased with them, who cares what the others think?

Anyway, there it is. My first baby-step so that this does not become overwhelming is to create another blog that will be geared specifically to Christians and ministry wives. To most people that life looks easy, but it is not. I hope to use that site as a practice place for my chapters and as a research vehicle to learn more about what young ministry wives are dealing with today. My new blog is called...Recovering Church Lady. Great name huh? Well, I think so! You are very welcome to join me there even if you are not involved in christian ministry, just be warned; there will be a lot of God talk over there! Ha!

Thanx to all of you for your encouraging words and fun insights!

Big Stuff

Big stuff is

brewing in me!

Have some new direction

and

my heart is happy

scared

joyful

freaked out

and a little bit

determined!

Tell you more tomorrow.

What a tease!

Big $$ Not So Much!

Remember back here when I told you about my wonderful new writing job? The thought of being paid $10 for each article I sent in to a certain website was intoxicating! I figured I could pump out 2 articles of 500 words each in an hour if I concentrated & they did not require much research. In my head that meant I would be making at least $20 an hour doing something I love! All win.....right?

Well, it's been over a month & I have an extra $120 in my account. At this rate it would actually work out to about .......NOT $20 an hour!! I did not work out the fact that coming up with unending ideas about a single subject is not so easy. I have written twelve good articles for the site & the owner is happy with them but I really need to write more. ( Just now Hubs asked if I was writing an article or blogging. I told him I was blogging about writing articles. His answer? "Too bad you can't get paid for that!" )

I have seen that there are other sites that want writers & to get contracts with them at least I would have other subjects that need my strung together words. But none offer that much for each article.

Tomorrow I will make up stuff about baby gifts, themes for baby showers, ideas for wedding gifts etc. It really is so satisfying to hit the SEND button when I have worked on one of these assignments. I also totally enjoy the process itself, once I sit down to do it anyway! I love making a lovely sentence or rearranging an entire paragraph to flow more smoothly. It is fun & fulfilling.

But I am slow to do it. I open my sweet Mac & check my blog, then check my three Facebook accounts. (One is mine, two others are work related.) By then I have wasted time & creative energy on all the wrong stuff & it's time to close the Mac.

I have no idea what my point is Dear Readers, just venting I guess, I hope you don't mind. Tomorrow is a new day & hopefully I will write up a storm, while at the same time, clean my house & do the laundry that is sitting in a pile not doing itself!

Thanks for listening!



Added next Day: Woohoo! It is Noon O'clock and I have swept my entirely hardwood floored home, folded a bit of laundry, done some stretching exercises AND...... sent in two newly written articles!! Yay Me!!

Time To Fly Again......

Yesterday morning during our first hour of school, our normal worship leader guy did not show up with his guitar and gear. Hubs and I were not really up to leading it acapella or choosing another worshipful activity, so we lead all the students over to our church sanctuary. It is a lovely place to spread out and get alone with God at the beginning of a day. The lights were low and the music (cd's through the sound system) was a mix of contemplative and some rowdy fun stuff at the end.

I found a comfy spot on the floor with my journal and leaned back against a wall and enjoyed watching our students worship God in their own unique ways. David was pacing around the large auditorium, smiling and chatting with his unseen Best Friend, Zulay was standing in front of the center altar area with her graceful hands up and swaying with the music. Nicki was sitting in a chair drawing a picture. Benny was kneeling in the middle of the floor with his head touching the floor in prayer. Hubs was in the sound booth choosing the music and reading his Bible. Jennifer was literally skipping around the sanctuary with abandon joy like a little girl rather than a forty something!

I have truly loved this job of leading these hungry ones into new and exciting relationships with God. Expanding their concept of Him, moving them from a SCARY view to a JOYFUL one. I sat there in that room full of love and wondered why in the world my good, good friend..... my God, would want to move me out of this perfect job!

So, again I asked Him that question. There was no lightening or fireworks as He gently gave me my answer....but He showed me a picture. He let me know that I was once again being broken out of a safe cocoon so that I could fly higher and experience much more than I imagined.

This was a surprise to me because I thought we had already DONE this bit. Way back in August 2008 my very first post as I began this blog was about breaking out of my cocoon of fear. In fact that is why I began this blog, it was to take you along with me on my journey into more and more freedom outside the cocoon.

Apparently I was again in a wonderfully comfy " myschool -shaped cocoon". After 10 years in our ministry school, we had it down pretty well, it has been a safe place and I thought that was the GOOD thing about it! Yah, it is supposed to be a safe place for the incoming students but safe can be a dangerous thing for a leader. We should always be challenged and reaching for more.

So my friends, here I am trying to stand up again a little taller as I push aside the remnants of my school-shaped cocoon. While at the same time, I am desperately wanting to gather those pieces around me again because I love them and I KNOW what it looks like. I have no idea what awaits me outside the limited space of that cocoon. I am not a fan of the unknown or adventure. I'm a planner.

But I have never seen a butterfly climb back into her cocoon. The truth is that once her wings have escaped the small space and spread out, she just would not, could not, FIT back into the crusty cocoon. Tomorrow is our last day of school. This butterfly is carrying a lot of Kleenex with her as she says good-bye to the past and tries really hard to turn around and smile at the unknown future.

The unknown possibilities are endless!

Is a REward just an Award Given Out Twice?

Isn't that a pretty award? Yes, the adorable Shawna over at My Girls has given me the SUNSHINE AWARD! She is the mommy to three little girls and I love her Subtitle "My Girls, making me crazy and keeping me sane." isn't that great?

Thank you Shawna and I hope you are able to get the comment thingy working now.

I would like to pass this fun award on to a new friend of mine who has bigger kids like I do, Bipolar Diva. Go check her out while you are off looking in on My Girls OK?

************************************************************************

A Confession..........I really like my last post. It was about Rocker Son and I thought it was pretty funny. But it did not get a ton of comments.....so I am giving you all another chance to make me feel good about myself okay? Go read it, thanks!

(wow BS, why don't you just beg them to read you?)