Odd Times

Such an odd and perplexing day. I am thankful for our new puppy Layla, she is bringing some giggles and entertainment in a tense time. Here is what I did today:

Kept the dog and the music down low as Hubs was on the phone with 6 different people in offices asking him detailed questions about our work history, current expenses, life style and bank accounts. We are 2 months away from being out of savings to pay our house payment. He makes exactly $300 more a month than our house pmt. We've survived so far by slowly pulling from savings but it will be gone in March. Crazy times.

Here's the crazy part.....The agencies could help, but only when we have missed at least 2 house payments! Hubs has been an uber responsible and honest to a fault man all his life. Especially regarding money and never missing or being late on paying what he owes. To wait until we default on our house pmt simply does not fit in his brain or character.

But that does not count in his favor at all.

We are thankful that we have no debt or credit card bills. Like I said, we are careful, and living on ministry income makes you want to do the right thing with every penny. We have. But we also did not set up a retirement plan at all. Don't know what we were thinking. Naive and sure that we would be happily ministering to people for all of our days until death. But ministry does not equal $$. Like I said, we were not thinking.

One agency suggested we refinance our home. Another call was made, this time a conference call between agency man and house loan people. Ironically we do not qualify for a refi because we do not make enough $$.

Aargh!

Sorry for dumping this on you kind readers. There is nothing you can or should do, but you already have. You have been a place I could talk about my day. My very strange and perplexing day.

Thank you.

I am sitting here in my house that is totally silent other than a loud tick-tock from our inherited wall clock. I just kissed the Hubs good-bye before he roared off to work on his motorcycle. I always go stand at the front door as I watch him ride away for his hour long commute to work each day. I feel like June Cleaver. 

I may be channeling her these days because I am a work at home writer now and I often have dinner ready when he gets home and even if he does not arrive home until 10pm, I try to make sure there is something for him to eat before bed. Who is this person? Ha! 

I have sent out tons of blog posts that included these lines: "I never cook because I hate it and we eat out every day for lunch while at work so we just snack at dinner time."  That was our pattern, our lifestyle once upon a time. But our pattern has changed into something completely different and still strange. Hubs works as a cashier in a store for minimum wage about 30 hours a week and I bring in about $100-$150 a week with small writing jobs while I try to get "the big one". 

So I stand at the front door of our house which is still ours (yay!) and I am full of thanks for my life and my husband and kids. Sometimes the really loud ticking of our lovely pendulum clock gets on my nerves because I am not used to being home alone, so I put music on nice and loud as I clean the house and write my brains out. :) 

I am especially excited this week because I have been invited to write Guest Blog Posts to two big blog-sites this next week and my mind is tumbling with ideas! These jobs do not pay, but they get me seen and known and it appears that networking and being seen is pretty important for a writer these days. I will give you links to the blogs when it happens.

Becoming a bit of a hermit was not what I expected with this new lifestyle though. My big outings are Walmart and my Tuesday nights with girlfriends. That's it! We don't always go to church on Sundays because Hubs works and I am still not used to going alone. 

But yesterday I had lunch with a friend and former student and it was wonderful! As she questioned me on my writing goals and I got passionate about what I want to write about she kept saying, "Oh that would be a great chapter title!!"  Ha! So I came home and made notes for my possible book that I dream about and fantasize over. 

Who knows? Right now the clock is tick-tocking and reminding me that this blog post is not paying me anything and it is time to move on. I do not see blogging as wasted time though. It is a lovely place to sort my thoughts and connect with you, may cyber friends. I am thankful for you and I pray that this day will hold good promise for you as well. 

Even the Photo Is Creeping Me Out!

We have an unwanted and uninvited guest in our home. And I am not happy about it! Mr. Mouse made his scurrying little appearance a week ago and had me run screaming from the living room couch back to Hubs in the bedroom with a book. He came to my rescue but could not find Mr. Mouse by the time he got there.

I saw the mouse go from under the stove (eeww!) just a couple of feet to the cupboard under the sink. Hubs hypothesized that there is a hole from the cupboard to the outside and the mouse ran back outside in fright from my screamings. I agreed with Hub's theory because it made me feel better. After all, I had to stand in that very spot several times every day at my kitchen sink!

As it happens, Mr. Mouse has not left the building. Again I am on the couch late at night alone and I saw Mr. Mouse run from stove to cupboard. After two more nights of this, the scary part is that I do not even scream! I jump a bit, that's it. That is just WRONG!

We set out some sticky paper traps. They did no good at all, he just goes around them I guess. So today we bought those awful and deadly classic mouse traps and placed them in the path that he takes. Now I am sitting here jumping at every sharp sound! Is that it? Do I want to look? No. 

It is MY kitchen, I feel violated by this ugly scurrying little creep! Makes me shudder just to think of it. I am suddenly realizing that dear old grouchy Tony the cat actually DID do something around here for us, may he rest in peace.

DOH! I posted this & totally left out the funny part that inspired me to write about it in the first place!.....


After Hubs had carefully (because there is no other way!) set the traps with tiny bits of cheese and a dab of peanut butter under the sink, I was cleaning up our dinner. Hubs watched as I wiped the counters and scraped a bunch of yucky shredded cheese into the garbage can and closed the cupboard door.

He then gently said, "Honey WHY in the world would a mouse try to get a teeny bit of cheese off a trap if there is an entire feast of it for free right next to it in the garbage can?"

Oops!

Ok, that's better. 

Any Better?

OK, so is this any better than the one below?
The tan line that shows through does not show up in person.

Personally, I like this better. Not purty but it is functional.

At least the middle pic is better than where I started
in this little "need a footstool" project!

Home Craftiness.....

You are all going to be so blown away by my home crafting skills that took place today! After I accomplished this clever creation I happened to walk through the TV room and heard these words as Hubs was clicking the TV through multiple channels at the speed of light.

"...even for you NON-crafters..." 


The lady on the craft show said this with such disgust and loathing that I took it personally and told her to shut up. Yep, I did.

And now I will show you my inventive home decor.....

Remember this pic of my new writing space? I talked about it here.

After a few days in there I realized that I really needed a footstool and we did not have one, at least not one that could be spared for that room. So here is what I did!..........Ta daaa!!

Hahaha! Like it? It works!

I did redo this! For reals! 

Well, in my defense, that beautiful dresser you see here used to be a work bench in my father's garage when I was little. It was painted LIME GREEN! So ugly, guess that's why it was out there. After we got married Hubs noticed it and saw beneath it's ugly paint and asked if we could have it. My parents gladly let us haul it away and we sanded it down to it's true beauty. It's been a staple in our home for 33 years now!
So there Crafty Lady!

Leave Me Alone So I Can Write!

I am going to cheat a bit and post the same thing here that I posted on my other blog with some additions to it just for you special people in my life........

Hi Friends, I think of you all as my friends even though I've never met the majority of you. You have been through some tough times with me this last year. My family has seen huge shifts and loss and we have also seen the goodness of our God in the middle of it all. His presence has not always been as big and obvious as I would choose, but it is there, in a deep and quiet place.

Personally I have made a very real and definite rearrangement of what I want to do with my life and my mother's death has only reinforced my determination to pursue this old dream of mine. Something about her stubborn tenacity to learn new things and be creative in brand new unknown areas has challenged me stop waiting passively for my "ship to come in."

The photos you see here are a sign of my intentionality to pursue writing and freelance writing with greater aggressiveness and purpose. I am smiling as I look at them because they look like the opposite of "aggressive and assertive"! But you are looking at my newly arranged Writing Space, just for me and just for serious writing. This is back in our spare room rather than in the living room where I usually write.

I won't check out Facebook in this chair and I will not normally write a blog here even though I am doing so right now. Blogging is my fun-time relaxation between my serious writing times. I know, blogging IS writing but there is a difference. You are not paying me!

I have two paying writing jobs right now. One of them is guaranteed $$ with each article I send in. The other has conditions and I will not always be paid $$. I am on the hunt for more of the guaranteed $$ type! 

But I have learned that I must set aside the time to go to my Writing Space just as if I was going into the office to work as I have done for the last decade. Sitting around my home without an outside job and only writing when the mood hits is not going to cut it anymore.

Think I need a footstool though!

And it's working! Today is Thursday. On Monday I came in here and pumped out three articles. Tuesday I sat in this comfy chair and wrote two articles and Wednesday I wrote  two more. This will be a $$ making week if I can continue this way. Can I do it? Why

 not?

My life has been turned upside down this last year (job losses, both our mom's passing) and it is not fun to feel like I am (we are) starting over again in our mid fifties. But, maybe the job loss was the only way that I would ever consider going after my old dream of being a writer? I'm not saying that God did it, but He is helping me to find the silver lining and the support from Hubs and my friends has been wonderful! Actually Hubs JUST recently began to see that I could really do this. He has watched me go after it relentlessly since last June when we first lost our shared job, and he sees that I can really bring in some $$. Because I have! I so want to tell you the numbers but that seems crass....oh whatever!.....I'm about to hit $1,000 coming in from my freelance writing! Yay me! But that is spread out from last June to this June and it was while I was working every day (at our interim job which has now ended.) outside the home. So now..........I am home all the time and shifting into full-time writing mode! 

Here I go!!

Thanks for listening and thanks for letting me have this one-sided conversation with you. Feel free to make it two-sided and leave me a comment!

Do Your Dishes Talk?

Have said it before but I am saying it again! I LOVE my empty nest. But it does get kind of quiet and boring every once in a while. ...I know that those of you who are currently chasing little munchkins around your house and yard are wanting to cuss at me after that statement.....Sorry, but your quiet, boring moments will come, they will.

As I was saying, it does happen around here, but not so often that I wish they'd move back home! Nope, that is not happening (knock on wood). But I really do love it when they come spend the evening or day with us. I never knew how fun it would be to be around my sons and their Loves as adults.

For a small peek at one of the best things about their visits, hop on over to my latest post at GoodBlogs, called I Think My Dishes Are Talking To Each Other and help vote it to the Top Posts for me won't you?

Thanks friends!,

Had A Great M Day!!I

I love gifts so much! This sat around ALL day without a mention, drove me craaazy!

Any moments with Rocker Son are a treasure to me. He is creative and hilarious!

I adore these people! My men and their ladies.

Hubs calls Writer Son his "Giant leprechaun" since sporting this beard. He is over 6 feet.

Sweet Sassy Bride made us some wonderful chicken tacos with homemade guacamole! Delish!

At last Writer Son handed me the gift bag! Wonderful scarf and a charm necklace that
 I cannot wait to wear!

I also love Rocker Son's, Tattoo Girlfriend, she is so funny and strong!

Amazing dessert of yogurt, fruit, sweet granola and honey! So good!

Not sure why Hubs took a pic of these guys, but we laughed a lot at them
on our fav show, The Amazing Race Finale!

Sassy Bride even insisted on cleaning my kitchen after all that hard work!

Hubs "helping" Sassy Bride at the stove.

Yay for a great Mother's Day 2011.

I hope yours was a good one too! 

Life Goes On

Today my Mother-In-Law is being laid to rest next to her husband. We are six hundred miles away but our thoughts and hearts are with our small family at the graveside. She requested that there be no funeral service, she has never been one to enjoy being the center of attention. "Don't make a fuss!"

Today we were remembering our recent short visit with her and Hubs pointed out how funny it was that even on her deathbed his mother was being the consummate hostess! Back here I told you how she was just like Aunt Bee on the Andy Griffith Show. There she was on the bed, struggling to speak very slowly and softly to us and her main concern was being sure that we all went out to the local Texas RoadHouse Restaurant there in Salem Oregon and that the bill be paid out of her account. When we returned to her room she asked what we all had ordered and if we enjoyed it. While she was eating tiny slivers of ice chips, she was still making sure everyone had enough to eat!

But now she is Home and the rest of us go on with life, not forgetting all she deposited into my wonderful husband and his siblings.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Two days ago a friend called me at work and said that she was taking our Swiss student who attends our school to The Matterhorn and would I like to go with them that night. It threw me for a minute because the only matterhorn I know (besides the one in Switzerland) is a roller coaster in Disneyland and it would take an 8 hour drive from here! 

She then explained that it is a Swiss fondue restaurant in San Francisco, so of course I said yes! We had so much fun and I learned some interesting little rituals that go along with authentic fondue meals. We were told that if we dropped our bread, meat or potato off the fork and into the melted cheese we would have to sing a song, tell a joke or kiss the person next to us.  I cannot tell a good joke, cannot sing either so I told my girlfriends that they better get ready for a smooch cause that would be less embarrassing than trying to sing or tell a joke! 

But I was also SUPER CAREFUL, and did not drop any food!

Silver and Gold Have I None.....

A few weeks ago while we were sifting through my mother-in-law's belongings, trying to divide the contents up between the family and figuring out what needed to go to the goodwill store, Hubs put this item in our box.

It was covered with dust and had a few paperclips in it. I wondered why on earth he wanted to bring that home with us. We were 600 miles from home and had to fit our choices into a small car with four adults in it. But I did not ask at the time, I figured he had his reasons. 

At home I washed it and put it on the kitchen counter for a few days, then last night I put it out with black olives in it. It is not very big, about the size of a cereal bowl and it's all one piece of stainless steel.

Hubs pointed to it later in the evening and said that he had given it to his parents for their 25th wedding anniversary. He smiled and said that he was in Junior High at the time. It was a gravy boat with a ladle. He remembers being so excited to watch them open his gift, he was so proud of himself. He thought it was made of silver for their Silver Anniversary!

I love that story and I'm so glad he saw it and brought it home with us.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Today Hubs saw me at my laptop and said, "Wow, you really look like a writer today! All you need is this pencil behind your ear, where's the camera?"

Thanks for the compliment Honey!

Oops! I forgot to tell you that i have put up a new post on GoodBlogs called, "I Am My Own Michael Scott". It could use some more votes to move it to Top Posts and add a little gold to my pocket. Thank you!

Tick-Tock

It's after 11:00pm on Sunday night and Writer Son and Sassy Bride have just left. We hadn't seen them for several days so I Facebooked them yesterday and said, "Don't you people have any dirty clothes? I think you do."..........This morning Sassy answered my question with the comment, "LOL, yes, we'll be there this afternoon.". They come to our house to do their laundry, use my Mac and watch "The Amazing Race" with us and I love it! (But I will admit that they are the only two people that have such free use of my precious Mac!)

Now my house is totally quiet as I sit here in my family room. Well, it is not actually silent as in 'no sound at all.' The wonderful 1921 Regulator clock you see pictured here is ticking away and sending out it's beautiful chime each hour. 

I am looking forward to finding out the stories behind this clock that has been in Hub's family for ninety years. His mom is still on her death bed 600 miles away from us but she insisted we bring home their beloved wall clock. We are so honored and thrilled to give it a new home and would love to pass it on to one of our sons some day.

It really does look good on our brick red wall doesn't it? The second picture makes it look like the clock is crooked but it isn't. Must have been the way I held the camera. If the clock was crooked it would not allow the pendulum to move correctly. We are learning a lot about these seven-day wind up clocks.

The other favorite keepsake that hubs brought home was a sweet little pair of chickens his mom collected and he played with when he was little. She had chickens figurines every where, along with chicken dish towels, photos, calendars.... We ladies do love our collections don't we? Well, men do a lot of collecting too don't they? Sassy just told me about an uncle whose house was full of hundreds of clocks! 

Today we are enjoying the gentle tick-tock and the chimes that sometimes surprise us in this small house. It makes us feel connected to my mother-in-law and aware of what she is going through right now. She does not want to watch TV or be read to. She wants to just be. I can't imagine what that must feel like, to know you are living your last days. Making your peace with others and with God would definitely be all that is important to you. Everything else is pretty much meaningless, isn't it?

Tony - It Was A Love/Hate Relationship. We Loved Him and He Hated Us

I had not seen our ailing sixteen year old cat for the last two days so today I sent Hubs out to look for Tony. Hubs found him hidden in the ivy that covers our back fence. What I had suspected was true, he was not alive. He had crawled into his favorite spot, curled up to sleep and never woke up. Well actually, I do not know if he was curled up. I did not want to see him, and that is how I am picturing him whether it is true or not. We all knew that Tony was  about done with his final life. I swear he almost died so many times that this had to be the ninth life! Sixteen years ago Tony was a special surprise for Rocker Son's ninth birthday. Our life with Tony had a rocky beginning.

Hubs and I got him from a lady who rescued cats, gave them their

shots and fixed them and then gave or sold them to good homes. As Hubs and I entered her home we began to wonder what we were getting into. There were so many cats moving around that it felt like the room was alive! 

But the lady cheerfully led us out to her backyard which was lined with stacks of cages of kittens and full grown cats. I wandered over to the gorgeous persians who could be named "Princess", but Hubs was immediately drawn to a scrawny orange kitten. He convinced me that the poor little thing would turn into a cuddly Garfield kind of cat.

The angular face looked far from the round and healthy face of Garfield but he was ours now and there was no turning back. Rocker Son was ecstatic and very shocked that we got him a kitten! He said that since we had said no to a pet rat, he figured that a "cat cost even more than a rat" so we'd never get him one! Ha!

We had temporarily wrapped the kitten loosely in a box and when Rocker Son ripped open the birthday paper, the frightened kitten immediately jumped out and skittered around the entire house with all of us screaming until he finally found the perfect hiding place under a bed! I believe he stayed under there for several days and nights refusing to come out for anything. This is when I realized that the sweet cat lady had not had time to socialize her little orphans and we basically owned a wild kitten. 

Eventually Tony became a grudging member of our family. But he never became cuddly or anywhere near looking like Garfield. He looked like a neglected ally cat until his final days. Holding Tony was not a calming or soothing experience. You never knew when his internal clock would alert him that petting time was over this instant and not one second longer, on penalty of a scratched hand!

Ironically the one who chose Tony to join our family was the first to change from love to hate. Hubs got the first bad bite from Tony; right out of his nose! I don't believe they spoke ever again except to growl at one another. Tony ended his days looking pretty bad. Do you know what a cat looks like who has decided not to groom himself anymore? It's not pretty and he would not allow me to help at all. Before Hubs got to him with some good scissors Tony was a dread-locked beast. A rastafari cat if you will. Not pretty at all!

But he was still part of our family and the last to leave the nest today. I suppose I should get rid of his food & water dish. Maybe tomorrow.

HEY FRIENDS...Go to GoodBlogs and vote for my sweet Blogger friend Shawna on her first post in that venue. It's hilarious and very snotty!