Take Me Away!

Tomorrow night I will be sitting around a campfire on the beach! Late last night I took a call from a friend who wanted me to join her and my other two best friends in someone's beat up trailer on a beach about an hour from us for three days!!

I am so excited to get away and have some fun with my girly-friends!! I am packing some bananas, chocolate chips, mini marshmallows which we will grill over the fire in foil and then open up for some yumminess!! Everyone else loves to cook and will bring tons of food and this will be sole contribution. They will be so surprised and will love it!!

These women are my closest friends, we have laughed till we snorted (well one is a snorter!) and did that other thing that women beyond fifty do when they laughed too hard. There have also been a lot of tears flow in our times together. We've held one another through both garbage and good news.  Add more than a few bottles of wine to those occasions and that may explain the loads of laughter at stuff that was probably not really very funny. (That is an exaggeration, sort of.) Heehee!

So my little bag is packed and off we will go on a Sunday morning no less! Scandalous! Don't be picturing a glorious sunshiny expanse of sugary sand though. Northern Cali beaches, at least ours, are foggy, rocky and gravely sand with lots of dunes and cliffs to climb up and down. No swimming at our beaches unless you have a wetsuit. We will be walking, hiking, sitting and yakking. That is the agenda and it sounds totally perfect.

But it will be a blast! Hubs hates camping. I grew up loving it and have missed the aroma of a campfire in my sweatshirt.

Cannot wait!

Two Jobs!

 found on http://pinterest.com/pin/77739714/

Last week the Hubs had no job. Today he has TWO! One is a driving job that he is excited about. The other is a cashier job at a Home Depot. He is taking both jobs until they overlap or cause a problem. The driving job is the keeper.

We are both so relieved to have at least these minimal paying jobs! And he is STILL not bugging me about getting out there for a job! What an amazing man! 

He also is refusing to get excited or really happy "until the paychecks are in my hand." He's that kind of guy. But I'll be happy enough for both of us. My view is that there is no such thing as wasted happiness. If it all falls through, why not enjoy it while we can? right? Can't picture myself saying, 'Well that was wasted joy!"

Thanx for caring, my friends!

Of course HE is the one who has to go do these non-dream jobs. sigh.

From Gloom to Hope

Yesterday Hubs and I worked quietly around the house saying very little for hours. The air was filled with a strange mixture of tension and a whole lot of "I give up." We are heading toward the end of the second month of zero income and these belts simply cannot be cinched up any tighter.

The  first crop of zucchini from our very first garden ever was rejoiced over loudly and broadly a few weeks ago. This week zucchini has lost it's charm and we are getting a bit tired of it in it's many forms. Yesterday our home was almost funeral-ish.

No anger, no tears, just going about our chores and even making up projects as the loud, very loud ticking of our inherited Regulator clock marks the sloooow passing of another day.

But then late last night Hubs gets a call from one of the jobs he has been interviewing for and they want to see him the next morning! Hope!!

So this morning Hubs left the house before I woke up and when I went to the coffee pot I found a note from him. He wrote that the other job, the GOOD ONE, had emailed him and sent him a bunch of forms to fill out so they can process his application to the next level!!!! The first job wanted him to fill our more forms also and they sent him to a clinic for a drug test and will get back to us next week.

I was a-dancing with my coffee cup!!

Crazy! Why in the world did both places suddenly after three months of silence contact him at the same time? He is going forward on both jobs at this point, because neither one is guaranteed yet, but YEE HAW!

Neither job is high paying, both are barely paying, but some pay is a whole lot sweeter looking than NO pay! You never know what each day will bring. Yesterday my home was a quiet place of gloom and tonight we have a new glimmer of hope in our goofy smiles.

Old Scribbles Help Me Write New Scribbles

For the last few days I have been getting comfy in my "writing room" and re-reading my huge stack of journals. Opening up one of the journals that I began filling when I was a teenager is always a risky venture. I often get distracted from whatever I was looking for in the first place. 

Sometimes I will go to my journals when I want to know what year we took the boys to Disneyland or exactly what date we moved into this house. But then I get caught up in reading stuff I do not recall and I forget why I started the hunt in the first place! 

But this week I have a distinct and focused purpose for my step into the past. I have a green marker and a black ink pen and a yellow tablet at my side as I open the next journal. I am methodically going through them day by day and marking important personal moments that I may use in a book that I would love to write. I make a green dot next to the journal entry and also record the date and main theme on the yellow tablet. 

It is a weird sensation to spend multiple hours immersed in your own history and then come back to the present. I come out of the room with a dazed and far away look in my eyes and Hubs asks if I'm okay. I say that I am so happy to be in the here and now and done with the "good ole days". I miss some of the cute kid days but would never choose to go back in time and I figure that I still have some cute kid stuff in front of me when I become a Grandma someday! 

I am so glad that I am a natural journal-keeper. It was never a chore for me. I looked forward to my stolen moments to sit and record my thoughts about my life. Some entries are one paragraph but most are a page or two. I realized that my boys would not always be little boys and I knew that their funny comments and goofy mischief would not last forever. My own inner questions and beliefs grew and changed as I lived my life and I have never stopped filling journals and probably never will.

Tomorrow I will dive into my past once again and who knows what treasures I will find.

Riding and Writing....

I have to say that this leisurely life is really a great way to live! Lately I have lost track of what day of the week it is and sleeping in every single day. I could get used to this. We are getting chores and projects done around the house and yard. Things are looking nice and clean and organized. I even cleaned out that scary nasty dark place under our bed! Why did I save years of magazines under there? No clue. But getting all this done feels great! This is the life.

If it just wasn't for that pesky little fact that we are unemployed and have zero moola coming in. 

Oh yeah, that.

I doubt that it ever slips Hub's mind though. How long will we have this house? How many more weeks can we stretch out of our savings? Leftovers and our garden are looking pretty yummy these days. When we had jobs we ate lunch out every single day and then just snacked at dinner time. As of today we have not eaten in a restaurant of any kind, even fast food, in two months. 

We are looking better though! Must be the healthy vegies from the garden we are making full meals out of. I even cut my own hair 2 weeks ago and saved us my usual $30 salon cut. And it looks great! 

But the not working has also made us a bit stir-crazy. I love to write and have spent hours each day doing so. Sending stuff to magazines and online job offers. But oh man, you can only do so many chores around the house and we are so very thankful for our bike that allows us some free entertainment that feeds our spirits and rejuvenates our minds.

Every time we ride I get writing ideas! It's amazing. Must be something about the fresh air and inspiration of nature. I always come back to the house with blog and article plans buzzing in my head. My two favorite activities lately work together really well....riding and writing!

All the luggage we took on a recent overnight trip with a  B&B Gift Certificate!

It Is Finished

Found at weheartit.com

Mr. Mouse 

is out of my house.

The end.

Even the Photo Is Creeping Me Out!

We have an unwanted and uninvited guest in our home. And I am not happy about it! Mr. Mouse made his scurrying little appearance a week ago and had me run screaming from the living room couch back to Hubs in the bedroom with a book. He came to my rescue but could not find Mr. Mouse by the time he got there.

I saw the mouse go from under the stove (eeww!) just a couple of feet to the cupboard under the sink. Hubs hypothesized that there is a hole from the cupboard to the outside and the mouse ran back outside in fright from my screamings. I agreed with Hub's theory because it made me feel better. After all, I had to stand in that very spot several times every day at my kitchen sink!

As it happens, Mr. Mouse has not left the building. Again I am on the couch late at night alone and I saw Mr. Mouse run from stove to cupboard. After two more nights of this, the scary part is that I do not even scream! I jump a bit, that's it. That is just WRONG!

We set out some sticky paper traps. They did no good at all, he just goes around them I guess. So today we bought those awful and deadly classic mouse traps and placed them in the path that he takes. Now I am sitting here jumping at every sharp sound! Is that it? Do I want to look? No. 

It is MY kitchen, I feel violated by this ugly scurrying little creep! Makes me shudder just to think of it. I am suddenly realizing that dear old grouchy Tony the cat actually DID do something around here for us, may he rest in peace.

DOH! I posted this & totally left out the funny part that inspired me to write about it in the first place!.....


After Hubs had carefully (because there is no other way!) set the traps with tiny bits of cheese and a dab of peanut butter under the sink, I was cleaning up our dinner. Hubs watched as I wiped the counters and scraped a bunch of yucky shredded cheese into the garbage can and closed the cupboard door.

He then gently said, "Honey WHY in the world would a mouse try to get a teeny bit of cheese off a trap if there is an entire feast of it for free right next to it in the garbage can?"

Oops!

Ok, that's better. 

No Judgement Zone

Made this myself with picnik.com!

Need to rework the colors of the lettering though.

It is for my other blog.

The blog is called Recovering Church Lady

and it is geared toward believers who

are spinning their wheels

and striving to make God love them.

I've lived there and the guilt

is a heavy thing that

my loving God did not intend.

I am hoping that my words

about how much they are totally loved

already without any of the hard work

and sacrifice,

will give them a glimpse of the freedom

He designed for them to enjoy.

So many have no clue how easy it is to please God.

We've made it ridiculously complicated.

And then use harsh judgement on others

to make us feel good.

Recovering Church Lady is a safe place of freedom and refreshment!

Just Discovered Picnik.com

My sons and their lovely loves!

Isn't that a great collage? I have never done much with all the tons of pics I take. I found a fun place called Picnik.com and it is really easy and free up to a point anyway. I can't wait to explore it some more. This was just my first practice session with them to see if it works for me. Have fun you creative people! 

Checks In The Mail? Yes, Please!

Hubs walked back into the house with our mail in his hands and a frown on his face. Oh great, what now?!

It was a letter from his former employers, the much hated and maligned, big-box store, W-Mart. He worked there for a year during our last episode of being between ministry jobs, about 11 years ago. 

He read it a loud and my cynical side kicked in as he read the words,

"A lawsuit against the store during your time of employment

has required us to send you this check for _________."

I said it was probably a check for $1.43.

Nope. He handed me the check.... it was for $389 !!!

Nice!!

Hubs got the bills out and the money was soon bye-bye, but what a fun surprise in the mail today!!

God (and W-Mart) has not forgotten us!

A New Direction

*

I cannot tell you how much better I felt after writing last night's blog post! It seemed like I turned a corner in being honest with you, my five or six regular readers. (Even though I have over 200 Followers, I know I have lost many due to my recent sporadic posting and even less commenting. But this is the beginning of my come-back if you will.) I do sincerely want to thank my faithful few who have stuck with me and been so very encouraging in these last months of family loss and job loss. You are the best! Rob-Bear, Betty, Bipolar Diva, Kim, EmptyNester, and Bouncin' Barb, thanks so much! I have acquired a few new commenters recently and I welcome you also but will not try to name you now or I will be here forever making all these links!

This morning it occurred to me that this blog site has become something very different than what I had envisioned it in it's birth. I thought I had a story to tell of my journey from one place to another in my heart and mind. From stuffy school marm to freedom embracing motorcycle mama. I loved my job working with twenty-somethings and bragged on and on about living the life you love by doing a job that matches up to your passion.

I believe that I have been doing that, I was always honest and I held little back from you about my life. Then when the job ended and things were not so rosy and full of passion, I backed off from full disclosure and even considered closing this blog down. It became neglected and an afterthought to put up a general picture filled post. 

But this morning's thought came to me about Walking Butterfly; it is still a place of honesty, though the message may change because the JOURNEY has changed! And that's OK. My new journey presently is one of walking (or flying) onto a blank canvas. Into the unknown and unexplored. Hubs and I are jobless. We have our home and enough to pay for it for a couple more months. 

I have no clue whatsoever about how this story is going to end. Will one of us find an amazing and money filled job in the next few weeks? Will we end up without this home we love after all? Will I get a shocking writing offer that saves the day? Will I need to give up my dream and go sell tacos at Taco Bell?

So, lucky you! You get to be part of this mysterious true story. I am back and you my dear bloggy friends will be my safe outlet to spew the good, the bad and the ugly. Aren't you just so excited and thankful? Ha! 

I am.

* (Pic credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/11565139)

Freedom Sometimes Means You've Nothing Left To Lose

If I were to describe my daily life to you right now, I think you would be shocked. Some would think it sounds great, but the wise ones would see it for what it is. And what it is, is unemployed.

I stay up as late as I want every single night. I also sleep in to 8 or 9 in the morning, every morning. My coffee maker is set to come on at 8 and I love to wake up to the aroma of fresh coffee. Sometimes it is even brought to me in bed by Hubs! My day has no real demands other than some food shopping once in a while and cleaning my home and doing laundry. 

Hubs works on the yards and garden and fills out job applications on line. Stores and businesses will not accept walk-in applicants, they tell him to go home and apply on line, frustrating.

I have been pretty good at setting a timer in the morning so that I only browse Facebook and emails for a limited time, and then I head into my writing room to look for places to submit my writing. I write a couple of my simple, short $10 articles, trying to send in 10 each week. Some days I work on query letters and magazine story proposals. I created an Excel chart that has all my submissions and query letters listed with the expected date of acceptance or rejection and amount they pay etc. I have about 4 submissions out there and 3 query letters trying to sell myself. I have also applied for 3 online writing jobs and been rejected from 2 so far. 

That all sounds so professional doesn't it? Actually as I write this and know that I am not fudging or exaggerating, I feel a little better than I did when I began this post. 

But the lack of structure is hard to adjust to and above all, the lack of income. This schedule and description of my days would look and sound wonderful if you took away the unemployment aspect! Ha! I am so blessed and thankful that Hubs is not pushing me to apply for a "regular" job (which would be Target or Taco Bell anyway, so not much $$) and he is letting me pursue this crazy writing thing. Which really makes no sense at all because we have zero income right now. We are living on our savings and the end is coming soon! That definitely creates some interesting dynamics in the atmosphere in our home. 

So, my friends, if you hate your job and wish you had more time to pursue your dream, hang on to your day job and keep going after the dream!  Not super fun out here. 

Freedom Is A Beautiful Thing!

Use Your Wings...

You Never Know...

I bought these pretty vintage aprons many years ago, one by one as they caught my eye and made me think that they might help my kitchen skills. They have not. But they are in use these days rather often! And that makes me so happy it's ridiculous. 

My two grown sons (hope you're not tired of this gushing concerning them) each have chosen a Sweetheart who loves to cook. I am not going to analyze that too far....possibly something to do with a mother who hates to cook and let everyone know it? Oh well, their loss is my gain, and their gain also I suppose!

Today I was hanging these up in a more visible place now that they have been pulled from the bottom of a drawer. The girls have used these several times now. I brought these home from garage sales and little boutiques with no idea how they would someday be worn by my "daughter-in-law and my daughter-in-love."  No, those descriptions do not work well at all! One is married to Writer Son and the other is living with Rocker Son. I love them both dearly and would be thrilled to have them both in my life forever! But they are not both "wives", not sure how to talk about them as a group, other than  saying "my son's sweethearts", and that doesn't seem right either. Oh well....

Anyway, it makes me smile to see them on "my girls" in my kitchen. I bought them with myself in mind only. Of course, years ago when we bought Writer Son a two foot tall plastic replica of Batman, we had no idea that he would be someday bargaining with his non-geek wife about where he could display it in their home! Ha! Poor girl!

You just never know.....