This One Is Very Family Newslettery-ish - Warning

We managed to get a family photo just before Writer Son and Sassy Bride moved to Texas. They are the cozy couple in the upper left, been married just over one year! I love both shots and feel like they truly portray who we are. 

Miss Tattoo Girl, Rocker Son's girlfriend now has black hair. I have a suspicion that if Tattoo Girl ever officially joins our family, it will be difficult to keep the photos up to date due to her constant hair changes! Ha! That is one of the things I love about her, very artistic! I sincerely hope that she will be making our family photos colorful for many years to come. (C'mon Rocker Son, don't do anything stupid ok?)

Hubs and I are missing our eldest and his wife but our hearts have been totally gratified to see and hear the good things that are happening for them since making the move. It was the right thing to do and they are happy and thriving with lots of people around them who love and appreciate who they are. What more could a mom want? (...well...to be in the same state when grandkids arrive!....but whatever!)

Oh I remember what I came to tell you! Writer Son has finally created his own blog! I am so excited that he is following the urge to write again as he used to years ago. His writing voice is exactly how he talks, very funny, self-depreciating and clever with words and cultural phrases. He plays with words in a way that people love and find engaging. You'll see when you go to his site cause I know you will, won't you? 

Warning...His passions are very nerdy; movies, comics, and God. Name any superhero and he knows its entire history, name a movie and he knows not only the director but which actors were considered before they chose the ones we see.  And, yes, name a book of the Bible or a question about God and he has good, deep and often funny thoughts and stories to tell.

Ok, enough of the bragging mom, go check his blog out....BUT do not give him this blog address in your comments ok?

This is my secret blog that they do not read!!

Otherwise how could I post family pics and talk about possible future daughter-in-laws, etc? 

Got it?

ok thanks! I am trusting you.

Writer Son's blog is called Last Action Arnold.  You will love it, especially my younger readers, well I love it and I'm not young, but I'm his mom so......the rambling has begun so this is a good place to say good-night I think.

Blessings,

I am sitting here in my house that is totally silent other than a loud tick-tock from our inherited wall clock. I just kissed the Hubs good-bye before he roared off to work on his motorcycle. I always go stand at the front door as I watch him ride away for his hour long commute to work each day. I feel like June Cleaver. 

I may be channeling her these days because I am a work at home writer now and I often have dinner ready when he gets home and even if he does not arrive home until 10pm, I try to make sure there is something for him to eat before bed. Who is this person? Ha! 

I have sent out tons of blog posts that included these lines: "I never cook because I hate it and we eat out every day for lunch while at work so we just snack at dinner time."  That was our pattern, our lifestyle once upon a time. But our pattern has changed into something completely different and still strange. Hubs works as a cashier in a store for minimum wage about 30 hours a week and I bring in about $100-$150 a week with small writing jobs while I try to get "the big one". 

So I stand at the front door of our house which is still ours (yay!) and I am full of thanks for my life and my husband and kids. Sometimes the really loud ticking of our lovely pendulum clock gets on my nerves because I am not used to being home alone, so I put music on nice and loud as I clean the house and write my brains out. :) 

I am especially excited this week because I have been invited to write Guest Blog Posts to two big blog-sites this next week and my mind is tumbling with ideas! These jobs do not pay, but they get me seen and known and it appears that networking and being seen is pretty important for a writer these days. I will give you links to the blogs when it happens.

Becoming a bit of a hermit was not what I expected with this new lifestyle though. My big outings are Walmart and my Tuesday nights with girlfriends. That's it! We don't always go to church on Sundays because Hubs works and I am still not used to going alone. 

But yesterday I had lunch with a friend and former student and it was wonderful! As she questioned me on my writing goals and I got passionate about what I want to write about she kept saying, "Oh that would be a great chapter title!!"  Ha! So I came home and made notes for my possible book that I dream about and fantasize over. 

Who knows? Right now the clock is tick-tocking and reminding me that this blog post is not paying me anything and it is time to move on. I do not see blogging as wasted time though. It is a lovely place to sort my thoughts and connect with you, may cyber friends. I am thankful for you and I pray that this day will hold good promise for you as well. 

Family

Writer Son and Sassy Bride were here last night. I think they surprised me with a visit because they knew that Hubs was working until midnight and I just might have sounded a bit lonely when I called them earlier in the day.

I had an interesting little "aha!" moment while they were here. I have plans for this Friday night, but when they mentioned they may come over on Friday to do their laundry I nodded happily and said it would be fine.

I suddenly understood my own mother's ease at putting aside her plans if the "kids" were coming over.

There is just something lovely about being around my sons and their ladies. There is nothing I would rather do and I know that Hubs feels the same way. For his birthday coming up, he just wants them all over here for a fun meal.

Years ago I would have chosen my work or my work friends over them. I would. But this year I have learned a great deal about the value of family. Family is there with you through the garbage and tough times.

My family knows me. They know that silly stuff and the painful stuff and they love me still. They ask the right questions. They see beyond the "I'm fine." answer.

Cherish your family members while you have them my friends.

"Hello, this is the Emergency Room..."

I got the call that I feared.....I was home alone this last Wednesday, sitting down to eat my sandwich and enjoy my iced tea when my cell rang. It was THE CALL. The one I feared and wrote about just one post ago on Recovering Church Lady. In that post I talked about my fear that Hubs was in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work thirty miles away. But this call was about Rocker Son.

"Your son has been in a motorcycle accident and he is breathing on his own....."

I think, and I told her this later; that she should have said that he was coherent first. Breathing can be done while in a coma or whatever.  

I paced as the ER nurse had to repeat again and again where she was calling from and why my son who would turn 25 in two days was there. 

I hung up after scribbling info on a tablet and yelled a bad word for only the second time in my life. And then in the same breath I asked God where He was. My mind was swirling and I made a mess of Hub's work papers as I tried to find the phone number of his new job. I was put on hold as they found him and let him leave to get me and head to the hospital 20 minutes away to see how our son was.

We talked to God about our son as we found the hospital by my scribbled directions. I had sent out a couple of quick emails to friends and family before leaving the house. They made us wait while trying to find his name in the records at the ER desk. They had a "Doe" that just came in, yes that's him, have no idea why they did not know his name. Followed the guy to our boy.

He was laughing with a police officer and when he saw me the only look he had was "Don't cry Mom, I'm ok." The nurse had told me on the phone that this biggest concern was how I would react and how his girlfriend would freak out and try to come to him on her scooter. 

He was not ok, he was broken. But not irreparably. He broke the biggest bone in the body, the femur (thigh bone). Totally snapped in two. A pinkie is broken, a wrist is sprained and a suspicious spot on his brain has been shown to be only a cluster of veins that have been there all along. No other scratches or road rash at all! It really is amazing!

He flew over the hood of a car that was making an illegal left turn in front of him. He broke their windshield and landed on the ground beside the road with a twisted up leg yelling for help. Someone saw and police and ambulance arrived in minutes. 

That was 4 days ago. Yesterday the doctors inserted a steel rod in my boy's right thigh bone and it will always be there. He walked on it a bit today and will be out of the hospital early next week. 

My mind and heart are swirling with two differing conclusions.......

• My son was in an awful motorcycle accident and is now forever carrying a steel rod in his leg. 
• My son was in a motorcycle accident and we are all ok. It wasn't that bad!

The thing that I feared happened and we have been laughing, crying and enjoying each other for the last few days in a boring hospital room. Where do I land?

I land on the fact that stuff happens. The idea that everything good that happens is God and everything bad that happens is satan just does not work for me. Stuff just happens and we figure out how to deal with  it. 

God was there. I believe that my son was protected from what could have been much worse. He wore his new leather motorcycle jacket for the first time because even though it was a hot day it was too bulky to fit in his backpack. He wore no gloves but did not scrape his hands or dent his helmet. The police saw a "denim burn" on the road but he has no scrapes on his legs other than some small scratches on his ankle.

We have much more to be thankful for than to be angry about. I am learning so much from Rocker Son. He is charming the hospital staff and creating a party where ever he goes! They love him and have told us they don't want him to leave the ICU but were happy that he did just that tonight and is being moved to a regular room. His friends are streaming in and turning a quiet hospital into a celebration of not dying this time. 

Rocker Son has a gift for living in the moment and seeing the good in it. In his own words on his Facebook page last night: 

"Surprisingly this is turning out to be a great birthday, even though it's being spent in the hospital. 

My amazing girl is with me

I get free meals

Room service

Bluray player

Sponge bath

And FREE DRUGS at the click of a button!"

The awful thing we fear can happen and we will still live through it. As we drove to the emergency room wondering why this happened I contemplated how I could live in such a scary world. Why couldn't I just find a safe place and hide forever. That sounded so good, but so, so impossible. 

But then I spent three days around my son and his friends and I am inspired by them. Stuff happens and they find the joy in it and move on. And God is there in his hospital room whether they know it or not. :)

Rich Text & Touch Tone

It seems to be getting tougher and tougher to KEEP UP with technology and social networking etc.. Is this true for you also? I am in my mid fifties and simply not ready to curl up in a rocker and learn to knit (not that there 's anything wrong with knitting or rocking!). 

But wow, I don't know if I can keep up with all the new-fangled (oops, there's another OLD word!) tech things that seem to change and UPGRADE faster than I can figure them out! 

My problems with my job proposal email that I told you about yesterday have been solved, thanx to my DIL. She patiently went with me to the email to see what went wrong and was truly aghast that I could function with a very old JUNO email account. She had never even heard of it! The big roadblock was that my juno account does not have "Rich Text". There is no bar at the top of my message box that allows me to underline, bold, italicize, etc. So when I used those things on my Word Doc and pasted them over, it went coo-coo because the old site could not use those fun and essential things.

So we are sitting side-by-side on the couch, and she shows me another way to get around my problem that involved writing my letter in TextEdit first, blah blah blah........."until you feel ready to upgrade to something more up to date." :) 

This morning I updated to a gmail account!!! And I sent the beautiful letter and all attachments off to the potential employer! 

Tomorrow I am getting a new phone that does not have a data plan because we can save $$ if I don't have Internet on my phone. I am excited because it has a Touch Screen instead of a roller ball like my Blackberry.

 But I keep giving away my age when I keep calling it "Touch Tone!" Ha! Oh well.

Old Scribbles Help Me Write New Scribbles

For the last few days I have been getting comfy in my "writing room" and re-reading my huge stack of journals. Opening up one of the journals that I began filling when I was a teenager is always a risky venture. I often get distracted from whatever I was looking for in the first place. 

Sometimes I will go to my journals when I want to know what year we took the boys to Disneyland or exactly what date we moved into this house. But then I get caught up in reading stuff I do not recall and I forget why I started the hunt in the first place! 

But this week I have a distinct and focused purpose for my step into the past. I have a green marker and a black ink pen and a yellow tablet at my side as I open the next journal. I am methodically going through them day by day and marking important personal moments that I may use in a book that I would love to write. I make a green dot next to the journal entry and also record the date and main theme on the yellow tablet. 

It is a weird sensation to spend multiple hours immersed in your own history and then come back to the present. I come out of the room with a dazed and far away look in my eyes and Hubs asks if I'm okay. I say that I am so happy to be in the here and now and done with the "good ole days". I miss some of the cute kid days but would never choose to go back in time and I figure that I still have some cute kid stuff in front of me when I become a Grandma someday! 

I am so glad that I am a natural journal-keeper. It was never a chore for me. I looked forward to my stolen moments to sit and record my thoughts about my life. Some entries are one paragraph but most are a page or two. I realized that my boys would not always be little boys and I knew that their funny comments and goofy mischief would not last forever. My own inner questions and beliefs grew and changed as I lived my life and I have never stopped filling journals and probably never will.

Tomorrow I will dive into my past once again and who knows what treasures I will find.

Just Discovered Picnik.com

My sons and their lovely loves!

Isn't that a great collage? I have never done much with all the tons of pics I take. I found a fun place called Picnik.com and it is really easy and free up to a point anyway. I can't wait to explore it some more. This was just my first practice session with them to see if it works for me. Have fun you creative people! 

Home Craftiness.....

You are all going to be so blown away by my home crafting skills that took place today! After I accomplished this clever creation I happened to walk through the TV room and heard these words as Hubs was clicking the TV through multiple channels at the speed of light.

"...even for you NON-crafters..." 


The lady on the craft show said this with such disgust and loathing that I took it personally and told her to shut up. Yep, I did.

And now I will show you my inventive home decor.....

Remember this pic of my new writing space? I talked about it here.

After a few days in there I realized that I really needed a footstool and we did not have one, at least not one that could be spared for that room. So here is what I did!..........Ta daaa!!

Hahaha! Like it? It works!

I did redo this! For reals! 

Well, in my defense, that beautiful dresser you see here used to be a work bench in my father's garage when I was little. It was painted LIME GREEN! So ugly, guess that's why it was out there. After we got married Hubs noticed it and saw beneath it's ugly paint and asked if we could have it. My parents gladly let us haul it away and we sanded it down to it's true beauty. It's been a staple in our home for 33 years now!
So there Crafty Lady!

Leave Me Alone So I Can Write!

I am going to cheat a bit and post the same thing here that I posted on my other blog with some additions to it just for you special people in my life........

Hi Friends, I think of you all as my friends even though I've never met the majority of you. You have been through some tough times with me this last year. My family has seen huge shifts and loss and we have also seen the goodness of our God in the middle of it all. His presence has not always been as big and obvious as I would choose, but it is there, in a deep and quiet place.

Personally I have made a very real and definite rearrangement of what I want to do with my life and my mother's death has only reinforced my determination to pursue this old dream of mine. Something about her stubborn tenacity to learn new things and be creative in brand new unknown areas has challenged me stop waiting passively for my "ship to come in."

The photos you see here are a sign of my intentionality to pursue writing and freelance writing with greater aggressiveness and purpose. I am smiling as I look at them because they look like the opposite of "aggressive and assertive"! But you are looking at my newly arranged Writing Space, just for me and just for serious writing. This is back in our spare room rather than in the living room where I usually write.

I won't check out Facebook in this chair and I will not normally write a blog here even though I am doing so right now. Blogging is my fun-time relaxation between my serious writing times. I know, blogging IS writing but there is a difference. You are not paying me!

I have two paying writing jobs right now. One of them is guaranteed $$ with each article I send in. The other has conditions and I will not always be paid $$. I am on the hunt for more of the guaranteed $$ type! 

But I have learned that I must set aside the time to go to my Writing Space just as if I was going into the office to work as I have done for the last decade. Sitting around my home without an outside job and only writing when the mood hits is not going to cut it anymore.

Think I need a footstool though!

And it's working! Today is Thursday. On Monday I came in here and pumped out three articles. Tuesday I sat in this comfy chair and wrote two articles and Wednesday I wrote  two more. This will be a $$ making week if I can continue this way. Can I do it? Why

 not?

My life has been turned upside down this last year (job losses, both our mom's passing) and it is not fun to feel like I am (we are) starting over again in our mid fifties. But, maybe the job loss was the only way that I would ever consider going after my old dream of being a writer? I'm not saying that God did it, but He is helping me to find the silver lining and the support from Hubs and my friends has been wonderful! Actually Hubs JUST recently began to see that I could really do this. He has watched me go after it relentlessly since last June when we first lost our shared job, and he sees that I can really bring in some $$. Because I have! I so want to tell you the numbers but that seems crass....oh whatever!.....I'm about to hit $1,000 coming in from my freelance writing! Yay me! But that is spread out from last June to this June and it was while I was working every day (at our interim job which has now ended.) outside the home. So now..........I am home all the time and shifting into full-time writing mode! 

Here I go!!

Thanks for listening and thanks for letting me have this one-sided conversation with you. Feel free to make it two-sided and leave me a comment!

Living Wholeheartedly

I keep trying to write about other things but my mind and heart are so full of my mother that I guess I will just go with the flow and see where it takes me. We did not talk on the phone every day or even every week, but we did talk daily in my head. Mothers are more powerful than they feel or know. I feel her "votes" on everything I do. Sometimes I agree with her and sometimes I do not, both are valuable lessons. 

Here are the words I shared at my mother's memorial on May 28, 2011...

...My mother had a great gift for going overboard. It used to embarrass me as a kid and teenager. But in later years I came to realize that the better word for her was “whole-hearted”. She did nothing just halfway or half-hearted.

When my mother became interested in painting ceramics, she took ceramic classes, began buying the molds and then for several years taught her own ceramics classes and 'fired' her student’s creations in her own kiln in our garage! She also loved to oil paint and so for as long as I can remember there were numerous oils of great old barns around our home.

She loved card games, we often found ourselves sitting in a circle late into the night for hours and hours when visiting. There is an entire drawer in the dining room full of playing cards! I have played Shanghai for many hours while longing for my bed!

My mom loved to garden. Did she just do some pretty yard planting and leave it at that? No way! She went to classes and became a Certified Master Gardener and displayed a garden scenes at the fair, she also created and sold some beautiful planters called Hypertufas, for several years. Her yards are a lush and inspiring place to walk or sit and enjoy the scenery. My mom's yards have "rooms" divided by greenery that have distinct themes and colors and moods. 

When Mom became interested in photography, she again attended classes and my first-born is embarrassingly THE most photographed kid in the world! This was 28 years ago, before the digital age and everyone's phones included a camera. She would show me pictures of him in outfits I had never seen because she had her own little fashion shows when she babysat him! 

But her best time for going overboard was the holidays. The boxes and boxes of decorations were brought in from the garage and "Decoration/Craft Room" and the house was thoroughly transformed top to bottom. Curt still talks about his first Christmas in our family. Walking into my parent's home had him wide-eyed and a little dis-oriented! No room was left without holiday cheer and adornment. I remember him coming to me and quietly saying, "Umm, there is a Christmas Tree in the bathroom!” My response was, "Yah, so?” 

But my mom did not confine her decorating to the house and yard. Every job she held in my growing up years was another opportunity to "brighten the place up". At the hospital jobs, the dry cleaning and office job, and our home church; her holiday decorations changed the atmosphere for the better. And I would not be surprised to hear that she has been decorating for her church functions and women's clubs here.

Mom’s gift of doing everything with her whole heart will be missed.... 

Another thought that I will add here but was not appropriate at the service is that my mom made me crazy and she also kept me sane. That gives me great hope for my own children's sanity!


PS If you're not tired of hearing me blather on go here and vote me to the Top Posts! Thanx.

Happy News - Sad news

I was sitting on my bed having a good cry yesterday. My sister had called and reported that our mom's health was deteriorating rapidly and the doctors are strongly suggesting removing life support. We had already been in this spot a few weeks ago but then she had rallied and we were given just enough hope to fight for her life. But now it is real and it is happening.

Hubs came into the house after getting the mail and called to me that I had something from a publishing company. He came into the room and handed the letter to me with a small joke that it is my big book deal at last and I laughed with him.

I set it down on the bed and we talked a bit about Mom and our plans to go up to be with the family again. As we talked I opened the letter which I assumed was junk mail since I have subscribed to so many writer's market lists lately.

But then the words, "WE ARE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU......" jumped out at me and I screamed and shook the letter at him! It is my first ACCEPTANCE from a publishing place to include my writing in their quarterly magazine! I sent my little piece in last September and the letter was to inform me that it will appear in the Fall 2011 publication! Included was a check for twenty dollars. (Someday somehow, that number is going to move on up to $200 for a piece!)


Deep sadness and deep joy in the same moment......I know my mom would be so pleased for me.

Had A Great M Day!!I

I love gifts so much! This sat around ALL day without a mention, drove me craaazy!

Any moments with Rocker Son are a treasure to me. He is creative and hilarious!

I adore these people! My men and their ladies.

Hubs calls Writer Son his "Giant leprechaun" since sporting this beard. He is over 6 feet.

Sweet Sassy Bride made us some wonderful chicken tacos with homemade guacamole! Delish!

At last Writer Son handed me the gift bag! Wonderful scarf and a charm necklace that
 I cannot wait to wear!

I also love Rocker Son's, Tattoo Girlfriend, she is so funny and strong!

Amazing dessert of yogurt, fruit, sweet granola and honey! So good!

Not sure why Hubs took a pic of these guys, but we laughed a lot at them
on our fav show, The Amazing Race Finale!

Sassy Bride even insisted on cleaning my kitchen after all that hard work!

Hubs "helping" Sassy Bride at the stove.

Yay for a great Mother's Day 2011.

I hope yours was a good one too! 

Mediocre Mother's Day To You!

I just posted an unusual Mother's Day post on GoodBlogs, come read me and vote for me ok? Thank you my friends!

Collecting Memories

For the past several years now, whenever we make our once yearly trek to my mom and dad's home, they always encourage us to put our names on items that we would want after they are gone. I know, kind of creepy huh? My sibs and I have verbally said "No way Mom!". But then we each do it quietly.





The reason I know we are all doing it is because when I have lifted a painting to mark it with my name,  I have found my brother or sister's name there already.

This year was different. As you know my mom has been in a life and death struggle this last month. So as I spent my nights in my parent's home without my mother's presence, it brought the facts home to me brutally. My emotions went many different directions at once.

• How are we going to survive as a family without Mom?
• I hate how cold and empty her house feels while she is in the hospital. Is this how it will be when she is gone?
• What in the world are we going to do with all this stuff?
• I should choose some things that represent my mom.
• But she collects SO MANY things, where to begin?

My mother has always loved garage sales and flea markets for as long as I can remember. Of course this leads to becoming a collector. And that she did! In a big way!

My parents home is small. But it is packed with enough stuff to fill a grand home. She is an artist so it is also filled with her creations, which I love. I have my name on the backs of some of those paintings. I especially like the flower one which is a new, big deviation from her normal barn motif. My mother is also a lover of old books just like me. Or I am just like her I should say, since she got me started in the adoration of old, musty smelling books from generations ago. 

I am hoping and praying that her collecting is not over just yet. No, I do not want more things from her nor do I think she needs more pretties in her home. But I want her alive for some more years and if that includes adding to the things I will have to sort through some day, that is fine with me!