I'm Now Writing at Recovering Church Lady...

Come see me at my full-time site, Recovering Church Lady.

For my long time friends met through

Walking Butterfly,

here is an updated pic of my amazing family!

My men and their lady-loves

keep me smiling

and guessing all the time.

Writer Son (stripe shirt) is married

to Sassy Bride.

Rocker Son is living with

adorable Tattoo Girl,

and I consider her my second DIL.

Hubs & I,

well we are still wondering what is next for us

after 2 job losses.

Hubs is working full-time at Home Depot

and I am bringing in what I can

with my writing.

Come on over to Recovering Church Lady,

I promise it's not all churchy and stuff

because I am not all churchy and stuff.

Anymore.

I still love God and He loves me

and we are walking into

the great unknown together.

See you over here ok?

Odd Times

Such an odd and perplexing day. I am thankful for our new puppy Layla, she is bringing some giggles and entertainment in a tense time. Here is what I did today:

Kept the dog and the music down low as Hubs was on the phone with 6 different people in offices asking him detailed questions about our work history, current expenses, life style and bank accounts. We are 2 months away from being out of savings to pay our house payment. He makes exactly $300 more a month than our house pmt. We've survived so far by slowly pulling from savings but it will be gone in March. Crazy times.

Here's the crazy part.....The agencies could help, but only when we have missed at least 2 house payments! Hubs has been an uber responsible and honest to a fault man all his life. Especially regarding money and never missing or being late on paying what he owes. To wait until we default on our house pmt simply does not fit in his brain or character.

But that does not count in his favor at all.

We are thankful that we have no debt or credit card bills. Like I said, we are careful, and living on ministry income makes you want to do the right thing with every penny. We have. But we also did not set up a retirement plan at all. Don't know what we were thinking. Naive and sure that we would be happily ministering to people for all of our days until death. But ministry does not equal $$. Like I said, we were not thinking.

One agency suggested we refinance our home. Another call was made, this time a conference call between agency man and house loan people. Ironically we do not qualify for a refi because we do not make enough $$.

Aargh!

Sorry for dumping this on you kind readers. There is nothing you can or should do, but you already have. You have been a place I could talk about my day. My very strange and perplexing day.

Thank you.

This One Is Very Family Newslettery-ish - Warning

We managed to get a family photo just before Writer Son and Sassy Bride moved to Texas. They are the cozy couple in the upper left, been married just over one year! I love both shots and feel like they truly portray who we are. 

Miss Tattoo Girl, Rocker Son's girlfriend now has black hair. I have a suspicion that if Tattoo Girl ever officially joins our family, it will be difficult to keep the photos up to date due to her constant hair changes! Ha! That is one of the things I love about her, very artistic! I sincerely hope that she will be making our family photos colorful for many years to come. (C'mon Rocker Son, don't do anything stupid ok?)

Hubs and I are missing our eldest and his wife but our hearts have been totally gratified to see and hear the good things that are happening for them since making the move. It was the right thing to do and they are happy and thriving with lots of people around them who love and appreciate who they are. What more could a mom want? (...well...to be in the same state when grandkids arrive!....but whatever!)

Oh I remember what I came to tell you! Writer Son has finally created his own blog! I am so excited that he is following the urge to write again as he used to years ago. His writing voice is exactly how he talks, very funny, self-depreciating and clever with words and cultural phrases. He plays with words in a way that people love and find engaging. You'll see when you go to his site cause I know you will, won't you? 

Warning...His passions are very nerdy; movies, comics, and God. Name any superhero and he knows its entire history, name a movie and he knows not only the director but which actors were considered before they chose the ones we see.  And, yes, name a book of the Bible or a question about God and he has good, deep and often funny thoughts and stories to tell.

Ok, enough of the bragging mom, go check his blog out....BUT do not give him this blog address in your comments ok?

This is my secret blog that they do not read!!

Otherwise how could I post family pics and talk about possible future daughter-in-laws, etc? 

Got it?

ok thanks! I am trusting you.

Writer Son's blog is called Last Action Arnold.  You will love it, especially my younger readers, well I love it and I'm not young, but I'm his mom so......the rambling has begun so this is a good place to say good-night I think.

Blessings,

Yes, I Am Thinking About Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving!

Isn't she wonderful? This angel has visited Walking Butterfly Blog before. I made her a few years ago and made them for all my neighbors the same year. I love her and I am super excited to make one for Sassy Bride and Tattoo Girl this year!  So, so excited! 

I am very tempted (and will probably give in) to add a tiny tattoo on the hand or shoulder of Tattoo Girl's. Wouldn't that be the best? Ha! If I could color the hair pink without ruining it I would try that too. For Sassy Bride's angel I am going to use some left over ribbon from the wedding! 

These angels are super easy and do not involve any sewing because the dress is craft paper. I love that. Just a glue gun and go!

Any other fun Christmas crafts you guys are doing? 

That Kid!

The Joker & Harley Quinn aka Rocker Son & Tattoo Girl!

Hey Bloggy Friends

Thanks for asking about  Rocker Son (25 yr) and his recuperation after getting hit by a car while going to work on his motorcycle in mid August. His femur has accepted the steel rod that runs down it and though it is still painful and he walks like an 80 year old man, we are happy that he is walking!

Due to a mess up with lack of insurance and a case worker that gave them bad advice, Rocker Son and his girlfriend could not get in to see any doctors for follow-up care of his leg and the cast on his arm. They finally removed the cast themselves and the arm and pinkie finger are fine.

But all along since the accident his other wrist had been slightly tender and swollen. The hospital said it was sprained and would go away on it's own. They x-rayed it and confirmed that.

Two weeks ago they had it looked at again because he could not bend his wrist like he used to. They discovered that he had sustained a very rare disease called Keinbocs Disease. It could not have been diagnosed earlier because the symptoms do not show themselves for several weeks.

Now according to the doctors, this injury is actually his MOST serious from the accident!! Argh! The impact of the trauma to his hand caused the blood to stop flowing to one of the large platelet type bones in his palm. Without blood and nutrients going to the bone, it has shrunk and is causing his hand to turn in on itself and could become fused to itself if he does not under go some experimental surgeries that involve removing several bones and replacing them. Again I say ARGH!

Yep, fun stuff. He is pretty much impossible to discourage, he just shrugs his shoulders and says, "whatever"! Crazy kid!
Thanks for your prayers and good thoughts!

Good News - Bad News

Good News, Bad News.

Good News - I have inherited my mom's hair, still no grey at 56!

Bad News - I have inherited my mom's hair, it's getting thinner and thinner.

But at least something is 

Thin!

Letter To Mom

Wow, this one felt good to get written. Come on over to Recovering Church Lady and read a letter to my mom. Thanks friends!

I am sitting here in my house that is totally silent other than a loud tick-tock from our inherited wall clock. I just kissed the Hubs good-bye before he roared off to work on his motorcycle. I always go stand at the front door as I watch him ride away for his hour long commute to work each day. I feel like June Cleaver. 

I may be channeling her these days because I am a work at home writer now and I often have dinner ready when he gets home and even if he does not arrive home until 10pm, I try to make sure there is something for him to eat before bed. Who is this person? Ha! 

I have sent out tons of blog posts that included these lines: "I never cook because I hate it and we eat out every day for lunch while at work so we just snack at dinner time."  That was our pattern, our lifestyle once upon a time. But our pattern has changed into something completely different and still strange. Hubs works as a cashier in a store for minimum wage about 30 hours a week and I bring in about $100-$150 a week with small writing jobs while I try to get "the big one". 

So I stand at the front door of our house which is still ours (yay!) and I am full of thanks for my life and my husband and kids. Sometimes the really loud ticking of our lovely pendulum clock gets on my nerves because I am not used to being home alone, so I put music on nice and loud as I clean the house and write my brains out. :) 

I am especially excited this week because I have been invited to write Guest Blog Posts to two big blog-sites this next week and my mind is tumbling with ideas! These jobs do not pay, but they get me seen and known and it appears that networking and being seen is pretty important for a writer these days. I will give you links to the blogs when it happens.

Becoming a bit of a hermit was not what I expected with this new lifestyle though. My big outings are Walmart and my Tuesday nights with girlfriends. That's it! We don't always go to church on Sundays because Hubs works and I am still not used to going alone. 

But yesterday I had lunch with a friend and former student and it was wonderful! As she questioned me on my writing goals and I got passionate about what I want to write about she kept saying, "Oh that would be a great chapter title!!"  Ha! So I came home and made notes for my possible book that I dream about and fantasize over. 

Who knows? Right now the clock is tick-tocking and reminding me that this blog post is not paying me anything and it is time to move on. I do not see blogging as wasted time though. It is a lovely place to sort my thoughts and connect with you, may cyber friends. I am thankful for you and I pray that this day will hold good promise for you as well. 

One Conversation

One conversation can bring healing to the hurting heart.
Speaking words aloud that have been swirling in our heads for months.
My stomach was turning flip-flops as we drove to the little Tai restaurant.
If it was going to be all small-talk I was determined to move it to big talk!
It is way overdue. No one's fault.
Everyone's fault.

One hour moved into more than two hours.
With eyes brimming they said that no harm was meant,
and told us of the behind-the-scenes happenings
that were happening.

With eyes equally full we said that we knew that.
We had never stopped 'believing the best' about them.
Underneath the surface junk, we knew the hearts and
we never doubted.

Well, yes, we did doubt and we did stick our
little toes into the tempting pool of
bitterness.
But we hated how it felt and quickly
stepped away.

But oh, the freedom to look across that little
shiny black table and smile into loving eyes.
To give forgiveness and accept forgiveness.
So sweet, take a deep breath and let the shoulders fall.

One talk, one conversation.
So powerful and so releasing.
Thank you Father.

Family

Writer Son and Sassy Bride were here last night. I think they surprised me with a visit because they knew that Hubs was working until midnight and I just might have sounded a bit lonely when I called them earlier in the day.

I had an interesting little "aha!" moment while they were here. I have plans for this Friday night, but when they mentioned they may come over on Friday to do their laundry I nodded happily and said it would be fine.

I suddenly understood my own mother's ease at putting aside her plans if the "kids" were coming over.

There is just something lovely about being around my sons and their ladies. There is nothing I would rather do and I know that Hubs feels the same way. For his birthday coming up, he just wants them all over here for a fun meal.

Years ago I would have chosen my work or my work friends over them. I would. But this year I have learned a great deal about the value of family. Family is there with you through the garbage and tough times.

My family knows me. They know that silly stuff and the painful stuff and they love me still. They ask the right questions. They see beyond the "I'm fine." answer.

Cherish your family members while you have them my friends.

"Hello, this is the Emergency Room..."

I got the call that I feared.....I was home alone this last Wednesday, sitting down to eat my sandwich and enjoy my iced tea when my cell rang. It was THE CALL. The one I feared and wrote about just one post ago on Recovering Church Lady. In that post I talked about my fear that Hubs was in a motorcycle accident on his way home from work thirty miles away. But this call was about Rocker Son.

"Your son has been in a motorcycle accident and he is breathing on his own....."

I think, and I told her this later; that she should have said that he was coherent first. Breathing can be done while in a coma or whatever.  

I paced as the ER nurse had to repeat again and again where she was calling from and why my son who would turn 25 in two days was there. 

I hung up after scribbling info on a tablet and yelled a bad word for only the second time in my life. And then in the same breath I asked God where He was. My mind was swirling and I made a mess of Hub's work papers as I tried to find the phone number of his new job. I was put on hold as they found him and let him leave to get me and head to the hospital 20 minutes away to see how our son was.

We talked to God about our son as we found the hospital by my scribbled directions. I had sent out a couple of quick emails to friends and family before leaving the house. They made us wait while trying to find his name in the records at the ER desk. They had a "Doe" that just came in, yes that's him, have no idea why they did not know his name. Followed the guy to our boy.

He was laughing with a police officer and when he saw me the only look he had was "Don't cry Mom, I'm ok." The nurse had told me on the phone that this biggest concern was how I would react and how his girlfriend would freak out and try to come to him on her scooter. 

He was not ok, he was broken. But not irreparably. He broke the biggest bone in the body, the femur (thigh bone). Totally snapped in two. A pinkie is broken, a wrist is sprained and a suspicious spot on his brain has been shown to be only a cluster of veins that have been there all along. No other scratches or road rash at all! It really is amazing!

He flew over the hood of a car that was making an illegal left turn in front of him. He broke their windshield and landed on the ground beside the road with a twisted up leg yelling for help. Someone saw and police and ambulance arrived in minutes. 

That was 4 days ago. Yesterday the doctors inserted a steel rod in my boy's right thigh bone and it will always be there. He walked on it a bit today and will be out of the hospital early next week. 

My mind and heart are swirling with two differing conclusions.......

• My son was in an awful motorcycle accident and is now forever carrying a steel rod in his leg. 
• My son was in a motorcycle accident and we are all ok. It wasn't that bad!

The thing that I feared happened and we have been laughing, crying and enjoying each other for the last few days in a boring hospital room. Where do I land?

I land on the fact that stuff happens. The idea that everything good that happens is God and everything bad that happens is satan just does not work for me. Stuff just happens and we figure out how to deal with  it. 

God was there. I believe that my son was protected from what could have been much worse. He wore his new leather motorcycle jacket for the first time because even though it was a hot day it was too bulky to fit in his backpack. He wore no gloves but did not scrape his hands or dent his helmet. The police saw a "denim burn" on the road but he has no scrapes on his legs other than some small scratches on his ankle.

We have much more to be thankful for than to be angry about. I am learning so much from Rocker Son. He is charming the hospital staff and creating a party where ever he goes! They love him and have told us they don't want him to leave the ICU but were happy that he did just that tonight and is being moved to a regular room. His friends are streaming in and turning a quiet hospital into a celebration of not dying this time. 

Rocker Son has a gift for living in the moment and seeing the good in it. In his own words on his Facebook page last night: 

"Surprisingly this is turning out to be a great birthday, even though it's being spent in the hospital. 

My amazing girl is with me

I get free meals

Room service

Bluray player

Sponge bath

And FREE DRUGS at the click of a button!"

The awful thing we fear can happen and we will still live through it. As we drove to the emergency room wondering why this happened I contemplated how I could live in such a scary world. Why couldn't I just find a safe place and hide forever. That sounded so good, but so, so impossible. 

But then I spent three days around my son and his friends and I am inspired by them. Stuff happens and they find the joy in it and move on. And God is there in his hospital room whether they know it or not. :)

Bullets Are Fun

I hope you all have had a good week. I feel pretty accomplished and productive this week and that's a change! 

• I have worked out most days. ....By WORK OUT I mean 20 minutes stretching to a yoga video. Don't want you to think I meant the whole gym membership and sweating thing. I would if I could though. 

• I have written two articles a day for the site that pays me $10 per and I hope to make $100 every week that way. ....yay me!

•  I am cooking meals and spending very very little money. ....Zucchini is a great extender. I added it to, or rather I put it with mac n' cheese and ended up mixing mine together, super yummy! 

• I got a new cellphone and even though it is a downgrade, I LOVE new gadgets. It's an LG Encore and it's pretty fun!........I really wanted and got a touch screen, mainly so I can fit in with all my iphone friends!

• And the BIGGEST deal this week: I sent the JOB PROPOSAL to the local newspaper AND I also sent one to a local mattress company to tell them I want to write for their website. ......I have written product based articles for a baby store for a year, I know I can write about beds and sleep issues also.

So that all makes for a pretty great week for me. We also received a very cool surprise in the mail yesterday and I'll tell you about that and show you pics another day. ....Gotta give you a reason to come back you know!

Rich Text & Touch Tone

It seems to be getting tougher and tougher to KEEP UP with technology and social networking etc.. Is this true for you also? I am in my mid fifties and simply not ready to curl up in a rocker and learn to knit (not that there 's anything wrong with knitting or rocking!). 

But wow, I don't know if I can keep up with all the new-fangled (oops, there's another OLD word!) tech things that seem to change and UPGRADE faster than I can figure them out! 

My problems with my job proposal email that I told you about yesterday have been solved, thanx to my DIL. She patiently went with me to the email to see what went wrong and was truly aghast that I could function with a very old JUNO email account. She had never even heard of it! The big roadblock was that my juno account does not have "Rich Text". There is no bar at the top of my message box that allows me to underline, bold, italicize, etc. So when I used those things on my Word Doc and pasted them over, it went coo-coo because the old site could not use those fun and essential things.

So we are sitting side-by-side on the couch, and she shows me another way to get around my problem that involved writing my letter in TextEdit first, blah blah blah........."until you feel ready to upgrade to something more up to date." :) 

This morning I updated to a gmail account!!! And I sent the beautiful letter and all attachments off to the potential employer! 

Tomorrow I am getting a new phone that does not have a data plan because we can save $$ if I don't have Internet on my phone. I am excited because it has a Touch Screen instead of a roller ball like my Blackberry.

 But I keep giving away my age when I keep calling it "Touch Tone!" Ha! Oh well.

Beach Buddies

Driver said she really didn't need to see. We could tell her what was behind
us, and she had the side mirrors! What could we tell her unless we stuck our heads out
the windows? Ha! We survived the 3 hour drive each way obviously.

We stayed in a trailer park on the beach that is owned by the friend of a friend.
My friend warned me that it was trailer trash not fancy.

And yes, the place was kinda scary as we found "our" trailer. It was
a community of people who lived there all year round and they stared
at us laughing women as we circled and circled the place.

But we soon introduced ourselves and made some great new friends.
There was a veteran in a wheelchair who made his living by fishing and selling his bounty to the park people. We enjoyed a scrumptious dinner of fresh crab for $5 a piece!!

T and me.

It took a few hours to stop checking her iphone for reception.

This is the path to the beach right behind our trailer.

View from that path back over the lovely neighborhood.

Path over the huge sand dunes.

I love beach trees!

OMG the dunes made my legs scream in agony!

A stray kitty made herself at home with T.

The banana s'mores I brought were a big hit when put in the ashes later that night!

Laughing at our goofy clothes. They expected warm days for some reason!
So they had to improvise.  Silly ladies!

C reminds me of a blond Jackie O.

Had a great time & as expected, we laughed, snorted, drank and even had a tearful
moment as we talked about our mothers and their absences.
I am so thankful for good friends.