For the last few days I have been getting comfy in my "writing room" and re-reading my huge stack of journals. Opening up one of the journals that I began filling when I was a teenager is always a risky venture. I often get distracted from whatever I was looking for in the first place.
Sometimes I will go to my journals when I want to know what year we took the boys to Disneyland or exactly what date we moved into this house. But then I get caught up in reading stuff I do not recall and I forget why I started the hunt in the first place!
But this week I have a distinct and focused purpose for my step into the past. I have a green marker and a black ink pen and a yellow tablet at my side as I open the next journal. I am methodically going through them day by day and marking important personal moments that I may use in a book that I would love to write. I make a green dot next to the journal entry and also record the date and main theme on the yellow tablet.
It is a weird sensation to spend multiple hours immersed in your own history and then come back to the present. I come out of the room with a dazed and far away look in my eyes and Hubs asks if I'm okay. I say that I am so happy to be in the here and now and done with the "good ole days". I miss some of the cute kid days but would never choose to go back in time and I figure that I still have some cute kid stuff in front of me when I become a Grandma someday!
I am so glad that I am a natural journal-keeper. It was never a chore for me. I looked forward to my stolen moments to sit and record my thoughts about my life. Some entries are one paragraph but most are a page or two. I realized that my boys would not always be little boys and I knew that their funny comments and goofy mischief would not last forever. My own inner questions and beliefs grew and changed as I lived my life and I have never stopped filling journals and probably never will.
Tomorrow I will dive into my past once again and who knows what treasures I will find.