After writing the "Welcome" section where I stated the above sentence, I woke up one morning wondering if I really know how to be real. Hmm.."As real as I know how to be"........ How real do I know how to be?
For as long as I can remember I have been what the people around me needed me to be. Obedient, compliant daughter. Quiet, peace-keeping christian youth grouper. Perfect attendance student. Loving, people-pleasing mom & pastors wife. ( Oh man, Pastor Wife-ing involves tons of people-pleasing, believe me! Another story for another day!)
I am currently doing what I love with my life. I am surrounded by wonderful, fun & encouraging friends & collegues. I am no longer pretending to be better than I am. I am liking me for the first time in my life.
And yet, I am telling no one around me about this little venture into putting my true thoughts out into cyberspace, whatever that is. This is my place to vent without risk of hurting feelings or wondering how my words may affect those around me. It feels pretty good so far! Of course I haven't really said anything yet! Ha! Can I be as real as I know how to be? That depends on how real I know how to be I guess. We'll just have to see.
Just figuring out how this all works.
ReplyDeleteAh...yes. Hard to be free and how free to be? Blogging took me many weeks to feel comfy. I know that for some of my friends I share more than they would. But it is what we are each comfortable with. Me...I am an open book much of the time. Truth is I have faith and that is enough for me to feel A-ok with sharing.
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