Friday, October 22, 2010

How I Became A Mother-In-Law

I realize that the title should be about my son getting married, or my son becoming a husband, but this is from my POV (point of view in fancy writer-speak.) so it’s all about me and my experience. Isn’t my blog all about me anyway? Pretty much everything is about me in my world so there you go.

As the wedding of Writer Son and Sassy Bride came closer and closer I could not be happier with the choices they were both making in the planning and preparations. But the very first ultimate choice they had made is what still gives me the greatest thrill; choosing one another! I adore Sassy Bride and if given the chance to pick out my Daughter-in-law, she would be the one. My heart is full even today as I remind myself that my son is married to Sassy Bride and she will be part of our family forever!

But I won’t say I was not nervous as the big event drew near. I had no qualms about the stars of the day, the Bride and Groom were doing great. I was anxious about the secondary roles. The parents. Meeting hers and being the parents of the Groom. This was and is totally new territory!

The first point of fear, as most women will agree, was what to wear. As my blog-friends know. You were very patient and sweetly encouraging with my ramblings on this subject week after week. Want to relive the fun? Go here. And here, and here! (There are more places but you get the idea.)

I ended up buying and altering a lovely deep purple sheath style dress that came to my knees. (Because the Mother of the bride had chosen that length.)  A friend of mine made it fit me nicely and I was so excited to wear it to the wedding. I am not a dressy person in normal life. I even tend to wear pants of some kind to all the weddings I have been to for the last few years. But the Mother of the Groom could not get away with wearing pants, I knew that for sure. So, the dress, shoes, clutch bag, necklace and dressy little jacket were all purchased and it all pulled together into a pretty nice look.

Once we arrived in our hotel room after two flights from our state to Texas, I carefully looked over each piece of my outfit to be sure it was ready for the next day. All was well. I did wear pants to the rehearsal night, which was very casual and included a big bonfire outdoors and tiki torches.

On the wedding day after a restless night I carefully dressed and predictably did not have a great hair morning! I had to leave my favorite hairspray at home due to airline rules and the tiny one I bought was all wrong. But I pulled it together and the look was great, I smiled at my reflection in the mirror and agreed with my husband that I was a somewhat beautiful MOG.

I clip-clopped through the hotel lobby (Not used to heels either!) and out to our rental car. The next thing my hubs heard was a gasp of horror from me as I sat in the front seat. I had no idea how FAR UP, a knee length sheath dress will go when you are seated! I pulled and stretched it to cover my knees and it immediately popped back up to areas of my thigh that were never meant to be shown.

When I say that the area was not meant to be shown, I am deadly serious! My knees had dark, lengthy, little hairs popping up as the dress moved upwards! Why did I neglect to shave beyond my knees? I have no idea. What was I thinking? No idea again.

Hubs offered to wait while I trotted back up to our 10th floor room to remove the ugly hairs but I refused to make that trip again and said I would figure something out when I got there. I knew the bridesmaids were getting dressed at the venue so there would be a shaver I could use.

Thankfully I walked into a gaggle of giggly girls and women in the ladies room at the site and they laughed at my minor emergency and loaned me a shaver. Nice way to introduce yourself to the Mother of the Bride by the way!

The next hurdle was the walk to the ceremony platform. I had plenty of time to worry about this as all the women sat in some small stuffy rooms waiting for all the guests to be seated. I was thrilled to be in the right spot to be one of the ones to help Sassy Bride with her wedding dress. I got to hold her tightly so she wouldn’t fall over as others aggressively cinched up the long laces in the back.

An elderly aunt of hers came in and asked if she could pin a small butterfly pin on her veil or dress to symbolize her recently deceased grandmother. Tears flowed all around at this sweet and quiet gesture.

I also got to watch as my future Daughter-in-law wrote several tiny love notes to be delivered to my son by a Bridesmaid as they waited for the ceremony to begin. Of course I am assuming they were notes of love. They may have been jokes or reminders to stand up straight for all I know!

The long walk from the Bride’s quarters to the platform was extremely long! The wedding took place at a beautiful woodsy retreat center/camp facility. I would estimate the walk to be about a football field in length. The wedding guests did not see us until the very last little turn up the pathway. The hard part was the uneven and leaf and root covered pathway we needed to walk…in heels!

But I did it! I have no idea how it must have looked though. Have you ever tried walking elegantly while your heels are sinking in soft dirt with every step? Kinda dreading the video. And once we were seated, I again struggled with my dress hiking up much further than I am comfortable with. The MOB wore a knee length dress also, but hers was an a-line circle skirt style that ended up covering her knees nicely when seated. Oh well.

This telling is becoming much longer than expected! I will continue but feel free to come back to read the rest another day! Ha!

Once we were seated on the front row with Sassy Bride’s parents, whom I love by the way (So relieved about that!), I could not keep my eyes off my handsome and tickled pink son! His smile just lit him up! Writer Son was not at all nervous, just full of joyful anticipation! He could not believe his luck!

I remained dry-eyed until the pronouncement of husband and wife. That just undid me and my tears came freely and happily. The entire ceremony had been light-hearted and fun but also full of deep meaning and intentionality. These two people in their late twenties had thought this through carefully and made promises to one another that moved many to tears.

I believe I will stop there for now. Other fun and weird stories will be told when the professional pics arrive! And you will be almost the first to see them! 


  1. Ah, so much joy, and with such good reason! May they have a long and happy life together.

    And thanks for visiting me.

  2. Congratulations! Our oldest daughter married the most wonderful young man--we feel the same about him as you do about your daughter-in-law! We have 3 other rocker son available? LOL New follower from Over 40!

  3. Hi EmptyNester & welcome! I have been a MIL for exactly 2 weeks and love it so far! ha!
    If you read some of my earlier posts about Rocker Son I think you will want to keep your daughters safely away! But I am sure he will grow up some day!

  4. I read every word! I am so happy for your family. And you do tell a good tale. Glad you shaved those hairy legs:)

  5. I think it is all about ME, from birth til death?? Such a great post and I cannot wait to be a MIL also. Love your attitude


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